Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Ash Wednesday..
marks the beginning of Lent. Before I notice, it's a brand new Lenten period all over again.
I rushed for the 6.30pm mass(thinking there's less people) today and it was crowded (don't these people work?!). I was late and just managed to get there in time for the ashes. The folks were not there hence I have to make my way home on the bus with an ashen cross (which looks more like a snake) on my forehead. Mehh.
During the mass, Father Wong was talking about the meannig of Lent. It is not simply about giving up a few pieces of meat or fasting. It's about disposing the burdens we carry with us. Our lust for material things, our anger, our envy and even our hurt. He explained that by carrying our hurt around and not moving on, we are simply punishing the person who hurt us. But actually in my humble opinion, I think we punish ourselves more, no?
Anyway, I hope to be a better Catholic. I shall not throw tantrums(even when there is no nice dinner), I shall not be jealous, I shall not be competitive, I shall not lust for branded goods, I shall be more patient with the folks, I shall be nicer to my friends, I shall be less self-centred, I shall be more generous, I shall be less calculative, I shall pay more attention in church(even if it's mandarin mass). I shall unburden myself.
Time and again I say this, but I hope this time I can really be grateful that I have a roof above me, a job that secures me, family and friends whom I love and love me. I will live my life to the fullest, even if I have to die when I'm 30.
Anyway, my dearest Donut and Colin-spelt-with-a-L will be turning 27 on Friday, joining the ranks of Coins who turned 27 twenty days before them. Happpppyyyyy Biirrrtthhhhhdayyyyy youuuuu olllllddddddd faaaarrrrtttttttssss!! hur hur. You know I love you all.
There's been some unhappyness that's been bugging me incessantly for a period of time which I cannot accurately express in words without feeling absurd. It is pretty frustrating, perhaps helpless, when you simply can't articulate what is troubling you. I guess it's how I hold certain values and how I set certain expectation on things beyond me. I guess my New Year resolution has yet to sink in.
Anyway this thing has been making feel constipated(thought I am not constipated YET). Like having loads of crap and not being able to dispose them off my system.
Or to put it more accurately, it's like having someone shove a chunk of shit down your throat and walks away. And the shit gets stuck in your gullet. The feeling is foul. And you have no idea how to get it out of your gullet. But you don't want to swallow it either. Hey, actually that sounds like how I feel about my work too!
I think I'm good with analogies, no?
Could the solution be just a delete button away? I need to unburden myself this lent.
I was suddenly reminded of my Aimee Mann CD! I hope I can find it though.
|
I rushed for the 6.30pm mass(thinking there's less people) today and it was crowded (don't these people work?!). I was late and just managed to get there in time for the ashes. The folks were not there hence I have to make my way home on the bus with an ashen cross (which looks more like a snake) on my forehead. Mehh.
During the mass, Father Wong was talking about the meannig of Lent. It is not simply about giving up a few pieces of meat or fasting. It's about disposing the burdens we carry with us. Our lust for material things, our anger, our envy and even our hurt. He explained that by carrying our hurt around and not moving on, we are simply punishing the person who hurt us. But actually in my humble opinion, I think we punish ourselves more, no?
Anyway, I hope to be a better Catholic. I shall not throw tantrums(even when there is no nice dinner), I shall not be jealous, I shall not be competitive, I shall not lust for branded goods, I shall be more patient with the folks, I shall be nicer to my friends, I shall be less self-centred, I shall be more generous, I shall be less calculative, I shall pay more attention in church(even if it's mandarin mass). I shall unburden myself.
Time and again I say this, but I hope this time I can really be grateful that I have a roof above me, a job that secures me, family and friends whom I love and love me. I will live my life to the fullest, even if I have to die when I'm 30.
Anyway, my dearest Donut and Colin-spelt-with-a-L will be turning 27 on Friday, joining the ranks of Coins who turned 27 twenty days before them. Happpppyyyyy Biirrrtthhhhhdayyyyy youuuuu olllllddddddd faaaarrrrtttttttssss!! hur hur. You know I love you all.
There's been some unhappyness that's been bugging me incessantly for a period of time which I cannot accurately express in words without feeling absurd. It is pretty frustrating, perhaps helpless, when you simply can't articulate what is troubling you. I guess it's how I hold certain values and how I set certain expectation on things beyond me. I guess my New Year resolution has yet to sink in.
Anyway this thing has been making feel constipated(thought I am not constipated YET). Like having loads of crap and not being able to dispose them off my system.
Or to put it more accurately, it's like having someone shove a chunk of shit down your throat and walks away. And the shit gets stuck in your gullet. The feeling is foul. And you have no idea how to get it out of your gullet. But you don't want to swallow it either. Hey, actually that sounds like how I feel about my work too!
I think I'm good with analogies, no?
Could the solution be just a delete button away? I need to unburden myself this lent.
I was suddenly reminded of my Aimee Mann CD! I hope I can find it though.
| My declaration of Love |
| I need to know how to feel without you.. I need to find myself, to give you the space you need, to move in a different direction from yours.. I want to know how life can go on without you.. I want to embrace joy, indulge in love, to enjoy every drop of sunshine that falls on me.. I will conquer my fear of living in a world without you.. I will live my life as though I had never met you... |