A life TOO ordinary..

hur hur.. I told you, I''m unbeatable..

I've been experiencing a rather weird high since 11.30 this morning and I am still feeling rather high. Choo thinks something is wrong with me. *stop agreeing, people!*

2 more papers and off to my commencement. *yes,I've taken Jingrong's advice, 3.8 also merit, 3.2 also merit, why make your life so miserable.. for my case, 3.19 also pass, 2.8 also pass.. hur hur.. I am SO FUCKING convinced that I screwed up baaaaadly this sem.. TO HELL WITH CAPS. hur hur..*

Blogging in the library since I figure my brain will automatically shut down when I reach my room.

Back to 2209...*must study abit right... I quite like my lecturer Dr. Lim*

Can't wait for Wednesday to come...

Update: Met Damian at the canteen during lunch today. How nice.. one of my first friends in NUS. and he took his final paper today and off we are on our separate paths.. though we were never close but I will never forget a nice friend like him.. I hope. hur hur hurr

HUr hur.. this is the most buang day of my whole academic life in NUS.. DAMNIT.

Anyway I'm fine. Keep those "I told you so's" and "are you alright". I'm strong and I will be as happy as a lark in no time. And really, keep those words above to yourself.

Update: Constantine is out. Damnit X 2.Not that I am his biggest fan like Paula Abdul or Miss Chang, my piano teacher, but I am starting to appreciate his faggy smiles and seriously, his performance and zoom! his out. DAMNIT....

Saya akan ujian Bahasa Indonesia, lalu, saya makan siang dengan teman saya, Choo. Sesudah, saya pergi ke Arts ikut seduah kertas. Sibuk sekali!!

Saya mau tidur sekarang, tapi saya tidak bisa tidur, karena asrama sini panas sekali. Jadi saya tulis blog ini.

Sesudah besok, saya akan satu ujian, IF3225. Saya tidak suka itu karena saya tidak tahu guru itu mau apa dari saya. Jumat ini, sesudah ujian IF3225, saya akan perpustakaan lagi. Saya harus berbelajar untuk IT1003 dan IF2209. Hanya sesudahnya, saya selesai ujian.

Saya tidak senang kehidupan sedang, saya ingin waktu berlalu cepat-cepat. Saya mau santai dan luar kota. Sekarang, saya butuh mendapat....

Saya belum selesai belajar. Mampus!


HUR HUR HUR.

Spent another un-eventful day at the library. But before that, it was nice to bump into you HL, and your bf Henry.. hur hur..

After the library closed, we settled for the bench along AS1.. and some how, after Yen and Choo left, it became very warm and VERY mosquito-ey... and I was sweating *yes SHAling, Sweating is for DOGs, but I weally felt like one then..* and itchy and uncomfortable.... 我忍... It was warm and I was 'sweating', I 忍, the mosquitoes were all over me... I 忍.. The people at other benches were noisy... I 忍... The final straw came when a black cat climbed up from SOMEWHERE.. *you mean they haven't start culling yet? (dun cull me, cat lovers..)* ANyway I really don't want to be caught screaming in the middle of the walk way, so within 30 secs, I was all ready to leave for Kuok.. And I spent the rest of the night on the bench outside the pantry.. till now.. *yawns*

One more day before the papers start POURING in.. and that shall mark my Death.. I hope I choke on chocolates while mugging so that I can skip all the papers.. This is crazy SHIET~~~

On a happier note, my youngest uncle bought a Mini Cooper, which means I get to drive one when I return to KL.. hur hur hur.. YAyee.. If I do drive. hur hurrrrr....

Another happier note, I will be liberated in 10 days time.

"Oh God, China colleague is wearing the same shirt he wore yesterday! He wears his shirt two days in a row. My goodness, besides being able to only have one kid per couple, is it illegal to change your shirt there everyday too?"--- Funni Feline

*traumatising*

The gradebook function on IVLE is rather scary.. one moment everything is fine and the next, you get the comments on the papers and presentations you did... *quivers*

I've come to dread the moments before getting results be it tests, exams and stuffs, especially after the IT1003 incident. Anyway the grades in my gradebook are decent, not fabulous but decent. But this is not about decency here.. you don't compete against yourself.. it's an intellectual warfare between hundreds of people trying to get their butts on to the top of that blardy bell.. AND I HATE IT... cos the race is on, and the effort you put in is never enough..

Oh oh, before I forget, HAPPY 27 BRUDDER. *can't believe we are in THAT phase of our lives already...WTF?!*

I did not exactly manage to finish what I set out to do yesterday. FUCK.

Tomorrow is a brand new day~~

p/s: oh by the way, if it's 10 and you are intending to go to the central library to study, you can forget about it cos' the seats are so blardy taken.. YIH as well.. you could try Science library though.. considering the hassle one has to go through to get there, it is a less popular choice.. I kind of miss that place.. and all the memories.. hur hur hurrrrr... *'cept for one*

Speaking of which, one of the most humiliating incident was probably the one that took place in Science library which MANY of the buangsters will remember and discuss FONDLY... *GX, u idiot* anyway, it's quite hard to believe what I did till now.. hope MY friends will get amnesia or something so that I won't get reminded ever so often about it. hur hur hur...

Final lap..I got to do a decent job, at least.

Lemme consolidate my thoughts for today..*if there were any*

I bumped into LeeChong,my prisch mate.. and Roger and then Jinrong and Adam today.. And I told Adam it might be a sign, suddenly I am bumping into all my Primary sch mates.. he thinks I must be maad.. *I'm not okaeeeeeee* It was fun sprouting nonsense with Jinrong and Adam. hur hur hur.. reminds me of my lost youth.*bleh*

Had an average day.. covered some stuffs but was really sleepy.. better turn in early..

Had a conversation with a gurlyfren after dinner and we talked *doh!* and I realised I was suppressing this frustration that stems out from OTHER peoples' lives. Not that I am concerned or wat, but I hate to see things hanging and people making a lame attempt to disguise their true intentions. Either you be honest, or u can try harrder.. at least make an effort, caaan?

So I am really pissed with some people which is why I have not beenvery friendly and stuffs.. at least I am being true to myself.. in a way... *hypocrites, PUI!*

Fate is a funny thing. Sometimes things just happen for a specific reason and today I left library early and headed for my room to 'save' Choo.. hur hur hurrrr...it was quite funni when we linked the series of events that led me to go to her room first before I came back..

I need to study HARDDDD...

Update: I am no longer going to Cambodia due to health reasons. and an other reason is that I can never emotionally detach myself if I were to go there. Like how I miss Thailand and the kids there. Wondering how things turn out for them.. and the kids at Minds...
there are just some things I've been avoiding cos I know I am not strong enough to face the consequences.. and there are many times I have to tell myself to let go of the things I resisted due to my cowardice. I no longer have the right to them, anyway.

bumped into this guy twice in the library today.. some guy some of my friends would want to meet.. and I thought this is quite ironic. Why am I bumping into a guy MY FRIENDS want to meet and I can't even catch a glimpse of *ahem*, neverrrmindddd.

Had a not-so-productive day. Just realised I am having 4 papers next week. I am so going to D..I..E... YUCK

Not like it is relevant to anyway.. I just can't think of a nice topic, so anything goes.

Was in the reference section mugging till the library closed at 4.30.. The study room in YIH was so FUCKING crowded by 1030.. damnit.

Finger is still swollen, still not really able to type well.. but I escaped practising piano..hur hur..Miss Chang thought I was pretty pathetic.. hur hur hurrrr...

Went to Clementi with Choo for dinner..no wonder the satay queue is so long..

A VERY IMPORTANT link that I am trying not to lose. So I decided to keep the web addy of this VERY.. uh.. unique man here.. well, all the best to you smart guy!! Hope to see you at arts canteen or any canteen for that matter. hur hur hur...

tomorrow's Operation: Discussion Room is so exciting.. hope we get it. hur hur hur...

update: at 2235, Choo and I finished a box of Durian daddy bought for me and almost 2 packets of cherry tomotoes.. hur hur. Yum!

ok, that include eating with 9 fingers, bathing with 9 fingers, reading with 9 fingers yada yada yada. no, my finger was not decapitated. Just some kind of infection *and it's my index finger, NOT my middle finger in case anyone is thinking that I've been over-using that*. So back to my finger, it's swollen like Taiwan sausage and can barely bend and stuffs. So it's pretty bad actually...

Anyway things haven't been so well.. my finger..NADIA is out, DAMNIT. and hey, some blardy ARSEHOLE decided that my facial foam is soOOoO nice that she should keep it for herself. FUCK YEWWW BITCH.*don't mind the F words.. I am a lil' edgy now* So hope YEW fucking get acnes and piles for the rest of ur life bitch!!!

Fucking tired after a day at the library. Yes, it's time of the sem and prolly the last mugging season..hur hur hur..I miss JL my mugging partner! anyway I've shifted my HQ from Science to Central Library Reference Section.

Ok. I need to sleep.

Fucking goodnight to all!

This is the second night in a row that my sleep is interrupted by tummyache, in different parts of THY ALMIGHTY (literal and figurative) tummy. The night before I had some kind of food poisoning *according to Dr. Tan* and last night, it was THE cramp. Which is countered by 3 panadol extras and a pain killer *and SQ is so going to kill me for this*, which led to another episode of 'Sleepless in KFH'.

I am very much dependent on pills to save my life. Without pills, my lifewould probably end much prematurely. hur hur. Not many, in fact, VERY VERY little people had ever seen the full effects of my cramps, since I am seldom caught off-guard *with an experience of I figured more than 120 times, assuming 10 years of bleeding and 12 times/year*. So anyway, a random check in my bag, one will probably see 5-7 kinds of pills,depending on 'season'. 3 regular, daily pills to keep me alive and prevent my face from swelling and joints from aching and skin from stinging pain, occasional sleepy or happy pills and of cos' Panadol Extras that I swear by and painkillers. So anyway, not many people had the opportunity or pleasure to see the vulnerable side of me who just want to stab myself and bleed to death, which I am sure, if I tried to sell tickets, I would make tonnes out of it.

ok. I feel the pain pretty much subdued. I can go back to sleep. Sleep, is VERY important.

p/s: I might wake up finding this entry totally incoherent. But hey, this is an entry made by a bleeding person on the verge of removing her womb and had less that 3 hours of sleep.

I hope I did not curse an swear at anyone impotent, I mean important.

It was after talking to Choo that it dawned onto me that the paper I am working on will probably be the last and afterwhich, exams will follow and that will put an end to my academic life. And while bathing, I was thinking it's probably the last few times I will bathe in the bathroom 4 on level 7, KFH. hur hur.. and the final weeks I get to spend time with 724, a place I spend more than 7 months in.. Hmmm..... Time flies ok, I better turn in.

A message.
been findin reasons 2 postpone contactin u... 4 sm
stupid reasons tts gone 4 so long alreadi...

i guess at least 4 me e happier memories we
shared stil bypass e bad ones...

dno hw 2 start.. dno where 2 start.. i'l juz try my
luck.. anyway things cant get any worser than
wad it is now... make up n b frenz?

Got this message on friendster from an old friend. And I did not know how to respond to it. Mainly because I think either she or me must be suffering from some kind of amnesia.. I mean, in the first place, things was not as Baaad as she mentioned *or was it me who interpreted this whole note the wrong way?* So anyway, think I got this some weeks ago and have yet to reply her. Simply because I don't know how to. hur hurhur... *we did exchange a few letters and stuffs, so I really don't know what this whole thing is all about* um... for now I shall just leave it as it is.. I really don't know what to say to her. hur hur.

A phone call.
Got a phone call from a guy L. Someone I had a **, I don't know how to explain it. Anyway, the phone call was purely work and very polite. But still, it made my day. hur hur. we agreed to meet up after my exams, purely formalities but still, I don't mind being entertained.

A wake.
My auntie *my dad's eldest sister* passed away on Thurs Morning, just as the clock struck 12. Only at her wake I realised Chinese name is a direct translation of her Christian name, Agatha. *speaks so much 'bout my Grandpa's Mandarin, he's Peranakan anyway, so can't really blame him*.

It's really weird to be there. Wondering how she must have felt then. She knew she was leaving, so she called her sister, her mum*my grandma who is senile and sometimes forget about her death* and another brother and her kids by her bedside. I heard that my grandma was holding her hand when she left.

I was wondering if there were any flashbacks, anything she missed, anything regrets. What was/were my dad, my uncles, my aunties, her kids, her husband thinking? I mean I was never close to her so I can't think of anything in particular. So what about those who grew up with her?
Growing up in a small family, and pretty much forced to grow up independently, I begin to wonder what is it like to grow up with PEOPLE, MANY people.. ok maybe I do have some vague memories of how I used to cut my own hair, thinking it is easy. And how my brother ran his toy car over my head and got it stuck there and we had to cut my hair. How my brother tried to jump from our bunk bed and broke his arm.And the times I was at my Grandma's place. And the Orchid farm. And the pig farm. And how my brother got us into some trouble. How I had neighbours of my age and my mum kept me away from them. How I fired my first egg. How I got my first set of keys. How I used to love cycling. ok, so there might be quite a lot of flashbacks during my last hours.

I wish her peace. She wanted to leave at home, just like both my Grandpas who refused to spend their final hours in the hospital. I'm not sure where I want to spend my final hours at. Yet. I'm glad she's gone, really. It's an end to her misery. It's been tormenting her for too long. Rest in peace, Mak mak.*that's what my brother calls her since he is her Godson and since then, all of us followed suit*

A near accident.
Was stuck in the jam on our way there and back from the wake in JB*I forgot to mention, my auntie lives in JB, very near to Holiday Plaza and that market that sells seafood*. So anyway on our way back, cars, as usual tried to cut queue. And people who knows my brother *through yours truly, me* would have know that my brother is a HELLrider. I mean HELL is an understatement. So he refused to give way to those idiots who tried to slot in infront of us. And there was once, he simply went ahead to close up the gap that though the car beside us was like 5 cm away from entering our lane. And my heart skipped a beat *literally*. And he won. Yayeee.. If I were him, I think we would've stuck in the jam for like another 5 hours since I will allow anyone to just go.. Much as I hate people who cut queues, I simply don't have that kind of skill and courage to do what he did. Kudos to my brudder. hur hur..

My babies.
Daniel and Sarah was in town last week. I met them only on Friday. Daniel grew so much but his rashes are back, making him highly irritable. But he is as cute as ever. And my vainpot? what's new, she is as vain and as darling as ever. So heavy that I can barely lift her. I miss her already. Pictures will be uploaded soon. hurhur..

Misc.
Ipoddy is back. Have yet to charge it. Hope it works THIS time.
Rushing my 3880 paper which is really a killer, or am I just plain stewwpeeerddd...
Cyclist is going US to further his studies. Oh man.. just as well, since I am graduating. All the best to yewwww cyclist!!!

who wants to remain anonymous here..Hope everything will turn out fine for you and your family and tide over this 'crisis' soon enough.. I can't help much but U can consider my offer if you don't mind yeah! Things will be fine again soon..Hang on in there babe!

I am not sure if it's me or really, simply Fantasia having a baaaad sore throat, I thought she was quacking throughout the performace and I can't wait for it to finish man...

*just got back from fighting a hideous looking thing the length of 1/2 my specs.. and it just looked like a great big ant with wings and orange buttok. ok, lemme catch my breath.

*phew*

Oh yah, so anyway Fantasia was singing like.. Donald? No.. not even Donald.. at least Donald sounds adorable..

Oh anyway I am back at doing my paper. And this is real tough. I am supposed to read both papers,summarise and crtique both. AND I don't even think they are writing in ENGLISH,can? So the reading was VERY slow.. *that's what you get doing Social Science* Can't they just use SIMPLE English? The thing is there were no big words but the way the phrase was like..DAMNIT. *am I that stewperrrd???*

As a result of 'constant' mocking a fellow blogger's blog with my partner in crime, BFSW, I am relegated to an animal today..Rudolph. I was down with a blarrdy cold and to make things worse,it was raining cats and dogs today. *and I was so afraid that the thunder might strike me when I was going to canteen to get a hot Milo* SO,NEVERRR EVERRRRR make fun of blogs at the expense of VERY SINCERE, GRATEFUL, PIOUS bloggers. Really, it's not worth it. I resolve to quit visiting that blog. *and stop reminding me how funny it is, BFSW. I don't want to sin anymore!!!*

Did VERY badly for IT1003, Choo and I figured, we should score around C.. This is VERY traumatising..DAMNIT.. another bad karma befalling on me.. *turn back before it's too late BFSW*

Side note, tomorrow I will be cooking curry for dinner. and meeting my auntie and my vainpot and baby Daniel on Friday morning. And there will be a make up lecture on Friday EVENING 4 to 6. DAMNIT.

I wish... My nose will still be in place tomorrow morning..

ARGH... I must really work hard for IT1003.. wat a waste for my precious youth.. FUG..

Oh yah another side note, there's another 超级无敌便宜 food in Clementi. It is the Curry Rice stall which is impossible to miss when u walk into the market. The rows facing INside. Cost only $1.90, inclusive of a meat(pork,fish or sheeken, chicken I mean)*I chose chicken cos' I didn't know what was available until I went back to figure out* a vege, which is cabbage cooked till very soft, and an egg. I got an over-fried Sunny-side up. DAMN SWAY... anyway u must be wondering what I am talking about...


ok, it looks... uh.. not very nice..


But it's really not bad. and VALUE FOR MONEY~~~

The curry smells good and to some *like Coins*, it is definitely a joy since it's NOT spicy. My advice is NOT to let the man add both gravy, the Curry one and the lor *think uh.. braised duck sauce* cos' the taste definitely clashes. And why did I allow him to? cos' I had absolutely NO idea what were the two, until I was having my lunch yesterday, in my room. So anyway, go try it, esp. when you are low on budget *like me*. The pictures definitely don't do justice to the food. *I'm not saying it's fabulous, but the pictures simply look.. un-appetising?*

The Pope's going to have his funeral soon. How I wish I can be there..

WWS told me it is getting cold down under and he is not really enjoying it.. And I was apalled.. not exactly, but why wouldn't he enjoy the nice, cool*SOMEtimes cold* weather? I told him I missed winter time, when your soles are so cold, they hurt and you can't feel that you are walking, and your fingers, they feel as if they might just come off if you are not careful.. and the best part I like, is when the wind is so strong, u feel as if you are being slapped 896438534 times just by walking against it..and it's nice to hear the wind howling outside the window during a sand storm.. and no, he thinks I am masochistic..DAMNIT.

When will my next winter be? Really looking forward to it.. Momma, as if knowing what hell I've been through last few weeks said she'll bring me overseas in December.. and she suggested Hong Kong..DON'T WANT!!! I can go there myself!! So anyway I told her to go China again.. I wanted to go Korea or Japan, but she would definitely disagree claiming that she won't enjoy herself cos she don't like the food.. I just want to go somewhere where it's really really cold..


站在最顶端上 却失去光
曾留下的浪迹 我无法想像

一个人的勇敢 能和谁分享
喜悦後的悲伤 在没人的地方
深呼吸继续往上

我知道 我知道 也许明天会更好
对天空大声咆哮 答案我却听不到

我知道 也知道 心里的恐惧有时多过坚强
有你我不再难熬 也不再寻找

最後一场赛跑 他开始踮脚
陌生人的喧闹 一句都听不到



I really really miss winter time. It reminds me of you...

Feel so much lighter. I wouldn't say I did a fabulous job, but at least my slides are.. uh.. pretty? hur hur.. Presentation over, paper submitted. One more paper, one oral and 6 exams and I should be on my way to commencement. uh.. yayeee?

On Saturday, I have more or less completed my paper, just needed some editing and stuffs.. SO, I CLEANED UP MY room~~ swept up the hair ball enough to let you play soccer, tidied my notes and books and bags.. blah blah blah.. *so neat*. So u must be wondering what a FINE job I must have done..


and this was what I did.

And check out my stress-less table~~~

A less stressed up table.. ok, it's not perfectly neat but..

Juxtaposed those to this..

>

Alrightey..Off to the next paper.. the Pope left us on Sunday morning.. I was actually attending mass when I learnt about it..* I do go to church* In a way it's good.. he did not have to suffer so much..

Updates:
it's so weird, everytime after a major project you will feel so lost. Cos there's finally time to watch TV and surf the net and stuffs, and you don't know where to start with. I shall try to find a job after I graduate.. I mean a part-time one. hur hur..

KQ told me she will be doing 4th year even though she is not sure if she should do it.. cos' we are kind of in the same boat *the class thang*. so anyway she did not file for graduation.. I told her MAYbe I will see her in class next sem.. that is I maintain my cap this sem.. HIGHLY UNLIKELY *hey it rhymes*

But then again, we also face another problem, we don't know what we want to do.. and so why not stay in school for another year? but not like if I stay another year I would know what I want.. *oh bother..*

and here I am blogging about it instead of being there. Cos I did not manage to get any money, and I have not exactly completed my paper that is due on Monday. Not to mention prepared for the presentation on Monday morning.. I am so going to make a monkey out of myself then.. AND I REALLY HOPE I AM AT THE CONCERT DAMNIT!!

Due to a lack of quality sleep *SLEEP, is weeeeealli important*, I am reduced to a walking panda. Momma sat up suddenly and asked if I had eaten anything over the week cos my face looked kinda green. Think it was lighting problem..

An unfortunate thing happened today and I was forced to go back to school again after going home. It was not so unfortunate, just that I was really tired, so the trip was so unbearable.. and I managed NOT to take a cab..

This week was VERY broke week mainly due to the trip to Clementi on Tuesday. I spent to much. And by Thursday, I was left with $3 ONLY. So desperate I withdrew $10 from UOB. *didn't know you could withdraw that little* So anyway, I managed to keep the $10 with me till today, I mean this evening.. hur hurr..

There's news about the Father John Paul II, the Pope not doing too well. I pray for him and hope he'll be well. and if he doesn't, please reduce his sufferings and let him die in peace. The cardinals are flying in to Rome just in case they need to elect a new Pope anytime from now. God Bless..