A life TOO ordinary..

Just in case someone is wondering how dreadful life can be... here it is:


Bless this mess!!!

A person driven up the wall has absolutely no time to pick up the pieces of papers flying around, or sweep the floor, or put the book back on the shelves..BUT,she can definitely find some time to blog.. hur hur hurrrr



A highly stressed up table.. you can almost feel its anxiety, can't you?


Food for thoughts?
YUP, those u see there are food. Chocolates, cup noodles, milo, cookie crisp cereals,honey stars, Super cereal, Oreo, Jelly, and an non-exhaustive list.. hur hur...*yep, Sha-ling aka JL, please stop nodding, your head is falling off soon*
AND the reason why the shelf is so packed is due to the fact that I seldom eat from there.. wahahahaa..

Oh well..back to face the battle.. How 'wonderful'....

uh.. so HAPPY Easter dear friends and readers*if there's any*

Easter's come and gone. I was at the Church yesterday 'celebrating' the rebirth of Christ. Which in my humble opinion, a TAD too long.. it was about uh... 3 hours? cos many people were getting Baptised, getting the first Holy Communion and Getting Confirmed.. *don't ask me what those terms mean, I've gone through all of them but that don't mean I am equipped to answer your queries* So anyway, during Mass, I thought of some things:

- Change.
Why do they like to change the church so much? I mean why can't those pricksssss stay with the simple hymns we used to sing and just appreciate the beauty of it? Guess some of you would've noticed how much I DREAD changes, which is why months after months, the template of this blog remains the same. I refuse to make any drastic changes for I fear that 变了就回不到原来了. I am so afraid of the irreversibility of things that often, I try to stay put, literally and figuratively. Of cos' most people would argue that 没有改变就没有进步, but I can't be sure if I will ever be happy even if things improve, and what if things fail? I mean, this is very contradicting. A part of me yearn to leave this mudane life and experience new things but at the back of my mind, there is always this resistance towards leaving my comfort zone. *rolls eye*

- Cult
OK, hope no staunch Catholic reads this. Yesterday the Baptismal rite was so.. 'spectacular' that I was reminded of attending a 'cult thing' *not like I've ever been to one*. I mean, it was the most traditional way of Baptism but the whole things was just.. I don't really know how to describe it. I think I was just tired and was hallucinating.

- Death
Yeah, it was the rebirth of Christ and I thought of death. hur hur. Very funny. The thing was yesterday, they had this fire burning thing at the front of the church and as the Mass was going on, there was thing mini-'explosion' thing. And I was standing there thinking, it's God's will if I have to die and I can skip my test next week and my presentation and my research paper and my essay assignment and my 6 tests. Should I thank the Almighty one if I get to meet him? *I should right, afterall I was attending the rebirth of His son when I died* And does that make me a Matyr? naah that is too out of context. hur hur...

- Sleep
A SERIOUS lack of it. One of my most quotable quotes is actually "sleep is very important" which I always tell people and yet, I am lacking of it. 'Sha'-ling aka Angeline Reta(rded) Susan-something-something*inside joke, hur hur* commented yesterday when she was at my hostel that I looked as if I haven't gotten enough sleep for some time. And sometimes, I really feel like a walking Panda in NUS.. *maybe I should start dressing in white and black and appear on The New Paper as some rare sightings*
So yesterday while waiting for the Mass to end, I got a little frustrated by the fact that those people tried to make this grand thing a grand thing, for the sake of being grand, at the expense of my much deprived sleep *oh shit, I think I am so going to meet Lucifer* I mean I do agree with the grand celebration and all, but I had this feeling those prickssss are just trying to prove themselves. The Blardy Choir was just trying to showcase their 'talent' and those people in charge of the Gospel, just read audibly and cut those bells and whistles*again, literally and figuratively, since they did have bells and music in the background*, can?
Ok maybe I was too sleepy. Given ample sleep, I would've appreciated it all. but then again, not really.. why must they try to change things? I mean, who gives them the right to revolutionise this whole simple affair? Don't they realise, sometimes beauty comes from the sheer simplicity of things? why do they like to challenge tradition?? *ok back to the point I don't like changes*

Anyway I stayed home tonight instead of going back to 724 cos I thought daddy had a long night and would want to rest earlier tonight. SO I decided to spare him the torture of sending me back. And he went to my gram's place with mom till like now? .........

An example of how mean my mom could be:
Me: Oh hope tomorrow 中马票, then can get me my car.. *we were out having dinner on Friday*
Evil Mommy: Huh? I don't need to 中马票 to buy you one.
Me: OK, give me my MINI Cooper *grins*
EM: I just don't want to buy you one, you need to work for it.
Me: ...... *xxxie xxxxxxie*

but you know, I am working hard enough liao.. So anyway I told her, why don't she just 中马票 a little, I will not ask for a car, just a trip overseas. She did not know how to respond, think she was a lil' defeated.. hur hur hurr.
Throughout this time, I wonder what my poppa was thinking sitting there watching this..


我真的不是败家女....

THE Old Rugged Cross
In case you haven't notice, it's Good Friday already. A day Christians come together to mourn the death of Jesus, who by the way, sacrificed His life to save the rest of us..and He will rise again on the third day (Easter) and we will all have a grand celebration. Which, by right, should be a bigger even than Christmas, as I was taught since young.. Alright I should stop here before sounding evangelistic. Anyway, since it's such a meaningful day, I shall dedicate this blog to Jesus with one of my all-time favourite hymn..

THE OLD RUGGED CROSS
On a hill far away, stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suff'ring and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

Oh, that old rugged cross so despised by the world
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the dear Lamb of God left his glory above,
To bear it to dark Calvary.

In the old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see;
For 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true,
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then he'll call me some day to my home far away,
Where his glory forever I'll share.

Chorus:
So I'll cherish the rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down'
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown


A very nice hymn sung usually at the end of the mass today.Very nice to hear the whole congregation singing to it. Just to give credit to the song's composer:
"The Old Rugged Cross," one of the world's best loved hymns, was composed in Albion, Michigan in 1912 by the Reverend George Bennard (1873-1958). The son of an Ohio coal miner, Bennard was a lifelong servant of God, chiefly in the Methodist ministry. He wrote the words and music of over three hundred other hymns. None achieved the fame of "The Old Rugged Cross," the moving summation of his faith.

And by the way, it's Geee-sus, not Gee-ges. I get a littled annoyed when people pronounce His name that way. YUCK.

Just a few things on my mind...
I will die for yewwww

A backpacking trip to Nepal/Tibet/Mongolia/Europe/Pennsylvania
4202 paper
Avril Lavigne concert
Sound of Music musical
Bak Kwa with Sex and the City *don't ask me why this combination, so happen to be my 'secret' indulgence*
Holidays
Post Holidays plans

Heard a song on radio and I kinda like it..so here it is..

Left Outside Alone
Anastacia

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been livin in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe

I Don't Feel Safe Oohhh

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breathe can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I'll tell you
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I'll tell you
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

oohhh ohhh Pray!

Heavenly father please save me (heavenly fathers Save me!)

oohhh oohhhh ohh

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

Oohhhhh ohhhh

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning Oh!
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need toooo praayy!

Was at Guild house today attending this social etiquette stuff which reminded me of some stuffs..

1. The JI cruise we went cos there was a social etiquette course as well. Pretty much the same.
2. Black pepper chicken chop. Reminds me of Reading Room. Of cos' the one at guild house came with Soup, dessert and tea.. But after a rough calculation, *substitute the chocolate cake with Chinchow, since that's the only dessert they have at reading room*, a similar meal at Reading Room would cost only $11.60 *unless I forgot their pricing* and it's less than 1/2 I paid for today's meal!!!!
3.好美丽. You know the show on channel 8 with Rui'En and people.. Well, I was reminded of the speed dating scene.. and *inside joke*, I was 好美丽 at the table.. wahahahaha.
4. CYCLIST. Well, he didn't just appear in my thoughts for no apparent reason. TCS messaged me to tell me he was at Sci canteen having claypot rice. So me, Yen, WQ and Choo went down there..only to be disappointed.. OH WELL.. *a recent update (2 minutes ago)from his Friendster, he's got MORE friends and yayeee for him, 'AN' testimonial. hur hur.. quite funny also..

Anyway I went for tuition after that, reaching home only at 7.. *yawn* Everyone is talking about graduation trips and I am not sure if I am going to graduate.. and even if I were to graduate, there are just too many commitments tying me down..FUCK IT..

*back to doing my essay*

I decided to give myself a break from writing the paper on BLOGs.. and might as well, blog. *lame*

Anyway, had lunch with my TS1101E crew. Those cute little 4 girls.. hur hur.. 2 of which VERY worried about life after graduation. Qianling was rather neutral towards it while me and Yiling just simply couldn't care less.. Worry or not, the sun still shines and you'll still graduate and remain jobless for a while and get a crappy job after that. Anyway, we concluded that we shall not be too idealistic in the very near future so the chances of getting disappointed will be reduced?

Yiling broke up with her boyfriend of about uh.. 8 years. I couldn't ask since she didn't seem like she wanted to tell. And another 3 couples broke up. I found out through friendster. And I am talking about couple who were together since like the beginning of time and seemed so ready to tie the knot right after graduation and stuffs.

And they broke up.

And I am getting worried. If loving people like them, after so many years eventually give up, are you trying to tell me the song Endless Love, that I so adore is simply an urban legend that sappy song writers made up? I don't know. If they can't stand the test of time, I seriously find it hard to think of others who can. I guess I am just neurotic. Forgive me. HUR HUR.

Crap aside. Happy Belated Birthday to EVE (see below) who celebrated her birthday at Devil's (turns out Yiling was there last night just that we didn't bump into each other). So it was rather fun drinking and dancing and stuffs. It's been so long since I was in that kind of environment. And it's so weird to be sitting on the other side of the bar waiting to be served. *mental note, always use plastic to pay next time. I should know wayyy better*


Birthday Gurl

Met up with Feng and Weeyin and Wileen as well as Coins and Biling. Guess the crowd really makes a whole lot of difference. And I think I am old. Really old.


Me, Coins, Biling and Wileen


Feng and Me and my huge pimple. And guai beh-behs behind us.. wahaha!

And there's a whole gang of people I've barely seen before..hur hurr


Eve and Friend 1


Eve and Friend 2 and friends 3,4,5,6 in the background. hur hurrr. And don't ask me how she got such a young boy in there..

Oh and how could I not mention this LAO DA, aka Gary. Feng's boyfriend. hur hur..


BFG and Burfdae gurl

The day ended with us leaving early and me sleeping 'earlier' cos'I stayed up to read my readings for the next day. And today, all I wanted was to fall flat and ZZZzZZ.. which I finally did. At 4.

Once again, have a good year ahead, Eve!

I guess I've been driven so hard crazy dreams and ideas start surfacing again..

One of the more positive ones will be to backpack SOMEWHere.. which I have yet to decide on the destination. it won't be a long trip due to a shameful lack of financial resources. And yes, I am planning to travel alone. * like what I told my brother once when I forgot what I did, "don't tell mummy and daddy ok?"* hur hur...

I am looking at some cheap airfares which are NOT exactly cheap and trying to budget how much I must save for this. About a week would be good.. so I suppose bunking into dormitories in hostels will be my only option. I wanted to say alternative, but that would be such a blatant mistake.. hur hur hurr.. and of cos' evil mummy will refuse to give any financial aid and I shall whine my way through.. whahaha...

Just another crazy idea.. hope things will run smooth.

Was watching my super boring webcast lecture when I decided to blog-hop and see what's going on. And boy it was 'happening' over at Xiaxue's blog.. hur hur.. cab snatching and stufs which led to a whole series of threads on some forum and 2 relatively long entries from Xiaxue herself. and it totally reflect the point I made about people who refuse to queue up. I mean, you'll get your turn, so why not just queue up and wait for it to come? right?

So anyway it's this battle between this 16 year-old girl and Xiaxue. I guess this issue would not have been blown up this way if not for Xiaxue's 'celebrity' status. Personally, I think it's just a case of small ah lian trying to victimise herself knowing she is at fault. I mean, come on, who on earth would want to jump in front of a cab, risking her own life to give some young punks a piece of her mind, unless she is either: out of her mind, or under heavy influence of extreme.. uh.. emotions, such as anger..

So well, I mean even if in the first place she did not see her there, and upon realising that she had snatched someone's cab, she should feel a lil' apologetic? or at least some kind of guilt and just live with it INSTEAD of turning around and flaming her. OK, maybe I am a little biased. I just hate it when someone cuts my queue, and more often than not, I always don't have the chance to stand up for myself.. *'cept for once in the Jurong Swimming Pool changing room, which that STUPID woman still got her way* but yeah, I totally DETEST people who are uh.. queue-disabled and still insist that they are not in the wrong. Just apologise and queue up, BITCH. * I mean that rude woman at the pool,btw*

So anyway, perhaps due to an inherent dislike for ah lians and queue-disabled people, I simply think that the ah lian's post were childish and full of contradictions. Perhaps Xiaxue went a little too far to almost reveal her phone number.. but oh well, I guess the anger must be overwhelming...

HUr hur.. just thought it was fun watching the verbal sparring that went on..

I was in the middle of doing some stuffs *decent school work in case you were wondering* and I received a phone call. Thinking it's my mom since it's private number, I picked it up in a nice, friendly tone. And it's this gurl looking for Eileen or something like that. And I said she got the wrong number.. and she mutter "oh sorry" and hung up.

Less than 30 secs, she dialled again. On hearing my greeting, she hung up. FUCK YOU BITCH. You say sorry before you hang, geddit?

Less than 1 minute later, she called again. This time I refuse to speak. So she more or less Hello-ed for a minute before she hung up.*carry on, I'm on free incoming anyway*

Same cycle goes, I rejected her calls TWICE.

The message still didn't get through her thick head, she called again. This time I spoke to her:
Stupid Bitch: Hello Eileen ah?
Almighty Me: Uh.. no, I think you've dialled the wrong number
SB: huh? Eileen ah?
AM: I said NO.
SB: You sure?
AM: *fumes* what numbre did you dial?
SB: recites MY number
AM:yeah you got the number right, but I'm not your friend
SB: You sure?
AM: *FUCKING PISSED* hangs up.

And if you think this imbecile is giving up, you are underestimating her lack of intelligence.

SB: Eileen ah?
AM: NO, I am not the person you are looking for.. Please stop calling
SB: may I noe who are you then?
AM: why *the FUCK* should I tell you who I am? I am just not the person you are looking for.
and politely I said. BYE BYE!

Which part of "you've got the wrong number" did she don't understand??

ANyway I hope it's not my friend who saved my number under someone else's name or wat.. hur hur hur... For now, SCREW YOU STUPID BITCH.

Updates:
To end my day with more crappy phonecalls, my project mate *whom I always found WEIRD* called. Asked if I am who I am, and HUNG UP ON ME. Did I just mention that I HATE people who hangs up on me?! Let me tell you how ridiculous this is:

Bruised Me: Hello?
Sick Project Mate: Is this Ellie?
BM:yah..
SPM: *HANGS UP*

FUCK YOU SICKO.. and when she messaged me again to tell me about meeting time tomorrow for the project, she did not even explain why she hung up on me. FUCK YOU. 4th year engine.. MUST BE screwed somewhere.. I mean her only. hur hur hurrr

hey kind souls, please help me on this survey and try to get your younger siblings/cousins/kids to do ok.. just disseminate to as many people,please?? I need to close this on Thursday. THanks~

Yes, today I came out with more things I cannot stand such as..
-Body Odour. For the love of God, they did not invent anti-perspirant or deodorants for nothing.. Go use it!
-Irregardless and a string of non-existent words. One of my tutors is VERY guilty of this. IRREGARDLESS. I tend to quiver a little each time I hear it. Sometimes, the usage is so frequent, I look as if I was shivering..
-Overused vocabulary. If your list of more sophisticated words or phrases is short and is becoming a pattern, that is NOT style, it is just a failed attempt to impress.
-Flicking of snot. and that involves getting it out of your nose as well. in public of course. You can do whatever you like in your own room. dig it, lick it, eat it, stick it on your wall, yada yada yada. Just don't show me how you do it.
-people who can't queue. For goodness sake, you won't die while waiting for you turn..
-people who thinks they own the path. They take their own sweet time walking, blocking everyone behind them and stopping occassionally to talk. *people who's walking along AS6 to canteen, especially recently, will totally agree.
-kaypo people who likes to question me about EVERYTHING and then pretends to know me from inside out.

oh well... just another list. I hope nobody thinks I am too critical...
*yawns* back to desperate housewives

Yes, according to my biological uh.. calendar.. it should be time of the month anytime now.. And I am feeling grumpy and highly irritable and highly emotional...

So 2 minutes after my parents left me at my hostel, I want to go home. HUr hurr

And I came out with a list of things I cannot stand (read: totally abhor) about people:

-self-centred people who never try to put themselves in others shoes
-unoriginal people who likes to imitate and claim ideas their own
-insecure people who tries too hard to please or prove themselves
-people who likes to say my friend,my dog, my goldfish, my great-great grandmother's auntie's nephew's son's grandson's girlfriend, my blah blah blah says so and so, and SO, it must be true. *ignorant fools*
-hypocrites who likes to say something and mean another and act differently
-people who are too competitive
-prima-donnas who think that they are oh-so-great and should be handled with the whole world's tender-loving-care
-people who likes to make sweeping statements
-people who likes to wear hats too large for their heads

and the list goes on..

But then again, who am I to judge? I'm not perfect but at least there's some consolation in this, I don't think I am either and I am guilty of them at times to0. But hey, I'm DE most important person in the universe~! *talking about double-standards.Rolls eyes*

oh well, very sleepy, I prolly won't know what I typed the next morning.. wahaha...

it's been a long while (or is this the first), anyway, since I got stiff neck. and the ironic thing is I got my stiff neck from home. hur hurrr...

So anyway, SueLi that silly ger told me she got stiff neck as well. She claimed that cousins can connect.. uh.. this kind connection, I rather don't want.. hur hur hurrr

Finally found time to clean my room, do laundry and stuffs.. this week, I got this feeling of being driven up the wall.. I just want to die..ok, maybe not die.. just fall sick and become so weak I can skip school and all the due dates, tests and presentationssss.anyway, it's finally over... I was telling Eve this morning my workload is up to my neck, that's why I got stiff neck.. hur hur hurrr..

While cleaning the room today, a song was ringing in my head. "when you say nothing at all" by Ronan Keating. Not because I like the song or what, but I was reminded of the time, about uh..many years ago. anyway Chung *one of my male cousins* did a nice rendition of it, complete with actions.. wahahaha..*he'll kill me if he reads this* Anyway I missed the times when we were young, I mean younger *I am not that old wat* when the sky was blue, the sea was deep, the road was endless and everything else, was nice and fun and interesting... and there's no endless assignments, projects, tests, presentations, exams..and there was so much to discover everyday and worries were trivia.

I guess the song really represents a time I was not bothered by him, it, them, yada yada yada.. I should start doing my work and stop reminiscing..DAMNIT

Just in case u want to see how cute this boy is..


that's the cute little boy in the yellow top.. he's actually taller, and as old as the girl in spaghetti straps. COUSINS unite~ That's Huili, Boy, SueLi, Chung and ME~


Boy, me and Chung. See how goofy he looks.. hur hurrr

Yep.. boy will bring me somewhere to fulfill my long-time dream in June.. that is if I don't freak out then...

These days are so busy that I rewarded myself with one of my secret indulgence.. hur hur hurrr...

Had munchie monkies today.. yayee..

Back to reality. *pui!*