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This is the story of a girl who fell from the top of the world.

Friday, December 26, 2003

China 

hmm... the trip was a rather tedious one... We were kind of late for the flight and then when we were on our way to Harbin, we did not bring our passports. boy had to bring it for us.. We spent 3 1/2 hours on the bus to the ski resort and another 3 1/2 back..Urgh, but the trip was NOT bad.. went skiing...haha! and I saw snow..Loads and loads of snow..fell a couple of times and gee, my butt hurts.. The cable car up the snow mountain was pretty scary considering it is only a seat with no secured railings...urgh.. Went to see ice carvings and boy, that's really cold. One thing not to be missed in Harbin is 'Bing1 Tang2 Hu3 Lu'. Nice... must try those with strawberris and dates and Kiwis...If only I could bring it for him too.. hahaa
Basically my trip is alot of shopping Beijing..haha.. going to Great wall tomorrow(again) and then to forbidden city(again).. hehhe... Adieus folks~
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Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Goodbye 

Spent a day with my auntie and baby and auntie's family.. met Khairuldin again after a very long time.. he is still as charming as ever.. hahaha!
So anyway today is a rather tiring day.. spent most of the time walking around Raffles City (note: it's walking and not shopping since I am shattered-- the stage after broken).
SO yeah, I got my belated birthday present, a Guess? watch... another watch which is somehow similar to the one that those kids gave me.. WHERE IS MY MINI COOPER?? well,you should not make so much noise when people give you present right...I JUST WANT MY MINI COOPER!!!!!
OH YAH... so nothing much today besides walking around Raffles city... my room is kind of better now.. think I will continue packing after china trip since I am going to be REAL busy lately... YEAH...(that's just an excuse)
So i've just started packing for China and my mum must think her skin is real thick..( I concluded this while looking at the stuffs she packed) ah.. whatever...
So why did I name this blog goodbye? I noticed something about baby, that is, she hates to say goodbye.. in fact, she doesn't.. as I was leaving today she refused to answer me.. Well, she just doesn't like to say goodbye.. I hate that too.. but one got to learn.... How many times can you keep ther person you like with you all the time.. If she doesn't learn now, she is going to get really hurt in future.. and she might not be able to take that when the time comes...ok.. maybe I'm thinking a little too far.. haha!
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Of all the places in my body,
I love to pierce the heart most..
---
song of the day: don't cry by Human Nature

Sometimes things can get crazy
But that's no reason to go run and hide
I haven't heard from you lately
The days and nights just keep on passing by

Well I guess that it's over
But I have no fear in letting go
I gotta look to the future
It's time to face the music
And make it on my own, so

Don't cry for me baby
I'm operating on a natural high
Don't you cry for me baby
The past is over, so kiss it goodbye

Don't you stand in my shadow
'Cause when you do I take it personal
I guess it's time to let you go
Can't sit here waiting for a miracle

I got to get a reaction
Communication seems to be a no
What happened to the attraction
If I don't get an answer
I think I better go so,

CHORUS

Don't you cry for me
Don't shed a tear for me
I'm gonna be al - right
Don't you cry for me
I'm not in misery
I can't wait

I'm gonna have me a good time

CHORUS

So dry your eyes, no need to cry, no time for sad goodbyes
It's time to go, nothing to show, so baby don't you cry
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Monday, December 15, 2003

Body Piercing 

I love body piercing..
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From Sarah with Love 

Well, not sure what kind of title I want for today but right now, From Sarah With Love is playing in my head.. So well...
just got home from Yewei's birthday... VERY crowded.. but it's nice to be with my bunch of friends...really enjoyed myself... and then we went to Westmall... Francis and I talked abit on our way there... and I think we are as crappy, or rather he is, as ever... and then we talked about my rich husband.. WHY IS EVERYONE SUGGESTING MOMO?? *faints* So for the benefit of those who haven't heard this. NOPE, he is my very good friend and things will stop here.. friendship is more valuable than any wealth in the world and really, we hardly see eye to eye.. and I better stop harping on how impossible it is or my friends are going to be VERY imaginative again...
So anyway after dropping Biling I took over the steering wheel... which was pretty fun.. hahaha... and of cos' frightened many other drivers as well as my brother.. hahaha...
Told GT and Francis about my plans to get a motorbike license and they were seriously pretty discouraging.. not that I don't know about the dangers (afterall my brother was involved in a rather bad accident that practically freaked the whole family) but hey, you only live once right... When I have the money, I will do that...heheh..*evil grin*
Guess I am really tired already... nothing much for today.. Just leaving you with a song I've always liked but never mentioned.. From Sarah With Love
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For so many years we were friends
And yes I always knew what we could do
But so many tears in the rain
Felt the night you said
That love had come to you
I thought you were not my kind
I thought that I could never feel for you
The passion and love you were feeling
And so you left
For someone new
And now that you're far and away
I'm sending a letter today

From Sarah with love
She's got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She's gonna send her letter to you

From Sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don't make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love

So maybe the chance for romance
Is like a train to catch before it's gone
And I'll keep on waiting and dreaming
You're strong enough
To understand
As long as you're so far away
I'm sending a letter each day

From Sarah with love
She's got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She's gonna send her letter to you

From Sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don't make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love

From Sarah with love
She's got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She's gonna send her letter to you

From Sarah with love
She's gotta know what you are thinking of
Cause every little now and then
And again and again
I know her heart cries out for you

From Sarah with love (Come on)
She's got the lover she is dreaming of (from Sarah, from Sarah with love)
Never found - words to say, ahh
But today, but today...

From Sarah with love (woo...)
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don't make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love
So don't make me blue when I write to you
From Sarah with love


Suddenly remembered this song while driving home... guess it's one of those songs you like to play on the CD player when you are driving home at night...
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Sunday, December 14, 2003

My birthday Present 

So anyway my brother asked me what I want for my birthday and gave me a budget of $500 (must be his bonus or something..)
Well, I could've asked for a digital camera huh... nah.. I requested for a modest discman which he did buy, and I realised he should've spent another $20 to get me the one with the FM radio thing.. hahaha... but I am really glad.. My new baby could play MP3 tracks and I just burnt a 19 hr++ CD for myself... and the whole process started at about 9? I just finished with it...
The burning and searching for CD process was a tough one.. I must sit down one day to categorise all my CDs... and to dig out those stuck under my bed or those used as coaster/mirror/paperweights..whatever... Oh well, my CD collection is rather screwed considering 1/5 of the CDs are missing.. hahaha...
So anyway, the reason why I wanted a 'modest' lil discman is due to the fact that I will ask him to invest on my new digital camera in future... Sony p10 AT THE MOMENT... it's obviously more that $500 and being really BROKEN now, I can't afford to fork out another $300 or so? so that remaining amount will wait.. (I am not that kind, I figure you already noe it..)
Just watched a movie on Channel 8 (think I would step into the cinema to watch a movie..neh..) so it's starring Chi-Lam the hunk... rather morbid stuff..Don't watch it if you're depressed...
So anyway I figured the reason why I WAS depressed last month was due to the fact that I was taking steriods and it's affecting my hormones.. of cos' it's not only the steroids but also examination stress and some 'personal' problems...But I think I am ok now...so far so good except for the day at the hospital..well...I'm going for my holidays so I must be good~ hahaha...
Will be going to Ye wei's Bday celebration tomorrow... everyone's turning 21.. hmmm...
well, good day to me and everyone else~
---
My biggest role in life
Is to act as if you are nothing to me..
And in my award winning role,
I almost convinced myself too...
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Thursday, December 11, 2003

Moon 

The sky is particularly beautiful tonight...
Anyway, I went back to SOS to collect my pay...and then went dinner with Des and LinYing and realise how broke I am... I really need to collect those debts or I will have to live like a beggar... hahhaa...Hope Dylan returns me my money as soon as possible...
So well, nothing much today 'cept that the rain is REALLY heavy and was stuck in a jam for some time...
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I took a picture of the moon today
I hoped to share it with you..
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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

x0 (10:17 PM) : hehe.. 21years old liao hor... haha... yeah now can consider adult liao. =+) no more...baby.. 

HMm.. since when was I a baby? hahhaa...
Junling asked how I spent my special day..So basically I wpke up at 9 (again...) and then went to the consulate of China and queued to apply for visa and only to be informed that I did not require a visa since I'll be in china for less than 2 weeks.. URGH... So home I went and Knocked Out not long after I read 'U' magazine.. hahaha..
I woke up in the evening and went to 'dabao' dinner.. yup, that was how I spent MY day... and of cos sitting at home waiting for people to call me... hahahhaa...
I guess this is the most ordinary day for a very long time... doing nothing just slacking and I really enjoyed myself.. kind of stress-free.. hahhaa...
um, that's about it for now?
--
whatever explanation you're going to provide me with
will still lead to the same conclusion
We missed the point anyway...
Whatever emotions that I am going to show
will not change the fact that we will part tonight
Let's be grateful for all the good times we had..
Was I searching in the wrong place for an answer
or were you at the wrong place at the wrong time
I guess cupid played a little trick on us
Or maybe the joke is just on me...
I'm not that strong
But you don't have to know that I am lost...
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Happy 21st to me~ 

Spent that wonderful moment at a rather funny place.. hahaha... Was at the Woodlands side of causeway with Theresa, Suhardi, Roger and Fad.. Fad drove and so from Woodlands we went to Changi Village to have our 'nasi lemak' dinner, then head Woodlands again to celebrate the 'magical' moment.. hahha... We had fireworks, don't exactly know what you call it..but it's pretty fun... and four large white candles? hahhaha...
SO anyway my birthday was spent in the rain and also 'kena-ed' police checks cos we were at a rather ulu place in Woodlands.. but that was a rather nice place, besides the ants and mosquitoes which I figured must have a pretty satisfying buffet by now...
Must really thank these guys who planned such an unusual celebration for me or I would've stayed home pinning for his call and whining over the fact that he doesn't give a damn whether I've just turned 21 or DEAD...
yeah... we were talking on our way back to Woodlands about Kaili with Roger and I mentioned the fact about choices..Yeah.. I need to choose too...it's all about choices ya? It's time for me to choose the happy life and move on..and on.. and on... You get the idea? yep, I'm 21, I should not be walking back and forth the same area hoping for some miracles to happen...NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN and even if it does, it'll be a tragedy.. so get a life..
So anyway, it's weird that Roger and me are friends again... Yeah we can't defined what happened then, but it's good to be friends again....Maybe we can hang out in future too... and he can accompany me to collect MacDonald's stuff toys.. hahha... those were the days when we were younger...
Really touched by these bunch of friends... URGH... I am tearing already... hahah!
Yeah I think I am getting sentimental again.. maybe I wil have nice crap again...and just in case you are interested, he did wish me, but nothing to be glad about.. it's just convenient...
I'm limping..And I can't walk towards you anymore..
You don't see me, 'cause you just don't care..
In your world, you seek your beauty
I seek you, and there's nothing else I would like to do...
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Well... that's about all I think... really sleepy... sharing a song I like from Avril Lavigne

I'm tuggin' at my hair
I'm pullin' at my clothes
I'm tryin to keep my cool
I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it--yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you what's on my mind
If ain't comin out we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
Cause I know your worth it

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it--yeah

[Verbal Acoustics]

I guess i'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

These things I'll never say






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Monday, December 08, 2003

David Tao's concert 

He rocks~ Yeah It was a pretty good concert, good singing..and a considerate one cos' Tension came to perform and we had time to go toilet.. hahahaha....
So I woke up at aout 10 plus today? went for piano lesson and then head to meet Fad and then to Theresa's place... We walked there... Things have changed quite a bit I think.. Something is lacking when we were walking there and I just couldn't pinpoint what it is...well...
So anyway Theresa's room is rather nice... Simple and cozy.. Anyway there was this episode that we got stuck in her room.. hahhaa...
Well, I left rather early.. and was almost late for the concert...
We took a cab home and yeah.. that's about it...
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Sunday, December 07, 2003

Tired but glad.. 

Had a long long day..went to Huis house to prepare for the BBQ and then went to West Coast Park which is a nice place but the pit is SUPER far from the car park and we had to walk with 1 tonne of supplies..GAWD....
So anyway the BBQ turnout was better than expected I think...considering I wasn't really expecting anyone.. hahaha... RARE guest like Wenwei came..(he must be real glad that I considered him a guest..) Special thanks to Junling who came to help both yesterday with the shopping and today with the preparation.. and Coins who came to help prepare..=) and those who came to make it happen and those who didn't but thanks as well, for those who couldn't come, I understand..=)
So anyway, we did not get any nasty treatment like cake smashing or something.. hahhaa... Oh yah.. Thanks to Colin my chauffer who chauffered me around to get the cake and some supplies...
So the food was rather ample.. not much leftovers unlike previous BBQs.. so I guess we are getting better at budgeting? yayay~
Weiming came with 2 bottles of wine..Um.. I am non-alcoholic.. hahah.. thanks anyway.. I got a nice Fossil watch..and a crystal chain for my handphone which I am not going to use cos I might spoil it... and a bag from Gengtian and girlfriend... and a HARRY POTTER book from my oldest and closest friend in the whole wide world..MOMO..Gawd... *sigh*-_-... And now I have to collect the whole HARD COVER Harry Potter books which I guess wil cost me a FORTUNE..URGH.... I rather he got me the cheap 5.70 mini cooper...Well, thanks anyway... I'm sure Ill learn to enjoy it... =)
Well, can't really sleep now... Guess I am just too tired and have too many things no my mind....
Oh yah... Yaoyao called and said he couldn't make it...So Funni... he reminded me about the pact we made 5 years ago about marrying each other...wahhhahaha... I have completely forgotten about it... hahaha... I just thought it's really funni.. guess you make silly pacts when you were young... think now Yaoyao is desperately looking for someone to marry me.. hahah! He've got another 5 years to find me one...=P
Took some pictures...pretty nice I think...Long day tomorrow too...and it'll end with David Tao's concert.. YAY~
ok.. think I need to pee and then head for my bed...Here's some crap for the day:
YOu didn't mean to be there when I needed you...
You didn't wish to be the one
You merely did what you know you should
How I wished I can be the one..
---hahaha... sounds like some nursery rhyme... what you call ya1 yun4 in chinese.. hhahha


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Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I'm a DRIVER~ 

Haha... I've just passed my driving and gotten my license... I gues sthat's the best birthday present I can give myself... YAY... though my driving really SUCKED big time.. but oh well, I will be better... I hope...
Anyway today I went shopping again!! Got myself a Billy Holiday CD.. and also Paula Abdul.. and Matrix VCD.. I guess I am the oni one in my whole major unaffected by matrix.. haha..
well, nice song for the day:
Each night, just about sunset
I watch you passing my door
It's all I can do
Not to run to you
'Cause I don't want to cry anymore
Nighttime, when there is moonlight
The same old moon I knew before
It's all I can do
Not to run to you
'Cause I don't want to cry anymore
All that I know about happiness
I found just being with you
Then I would find myself losing my mind
Over some careless thing you would do
Oh, why can't I forget you
I know so well what is in store
A moment or two
Up in the clouds with you
Then back where I was before
No I don't want to cry anymore
All that I've known about happiness
I found just being with you
Then I would find myself losing my mind
Over some careless thing you would do
Oh, why can't I forget you
I know so well what is in store
A moment or two
Up in the clouds with you
Then back where I was before

No I don't want to cry anymore------Billie Holiday

Alrightey man.... Guess that's about it for today... had a pretty long day... which was rather enjoyable.. hahah!
I shall leave with some crap that I came up with:
The only regret I'll ever have
Is never having the chance to show how much you mean to me
And how I wish I could run to you now, just to watch you sleep,
just to dry your tears when you weep..
Just to be with you even if you don't need me...
Urggh...Tummy Cramp..continue another time.. haha!
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My declaration of Love
I need to know how to feel without you.. I need to find myself, to give you the space you need, to move in a different direction from yours.. I want to know how life can go on without you.. I want to embrace joy, indulge in love, to enjoy every drop of sunshine that falls on me.. I will conquer my fear of living in a world without you.. I will live my life as though I had never met you...
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