A life TOO ordinary..

Sick...Fever and sore throat.. and a terrible headache and is feeling damn terrible now..As I was popping down my pills, I feel really bad for myself..I have to take my medications everyday for the rest of my miserable life and now I am sick.. and I am pathetic and I am sad..and I think I m going through PMS.. and I hope is just PMS... Think I need to see a shrink..urghh....
When can I ever be well again? To stop taking those miserable pills and go back into the sun..I want to be happy again.. to fall in love again... to be stress-free again.. to be back where we were again..
Dear God, love me again...

here's something I wrote at myspace.com:
it's always a very vexing day whenever it's the eve of programming lab assignment due day, in short it's my D-day...yep.. after sitting in from of the computer for like more than 10 hours, going to relevant sites and reading texts, notes, books, blah blah blah, and still not getting anywhere, the only thing you want to do it to drop that blardy module and enjoy life..I think programming has made me feel like an idiot, I even resorted to asking strangers who talk to me on the icq if the can program in Java...I must have gone mad... hahaha
anyway, I took some time off the computer to cook my breakfast, my tea, my lunch, my afternoon snacks, my dinner and watch SUN YANZI on TV.. I just need time away from this SHIT...So while watching Sun YanZi and while she was singing the song TAO2 Wang2, it sets me thinking..Everyone wants to run away from the real world once in a while, if I had a choice, and of cos' money, where would I go? And I am not talking bout a short holiday that last like a week or two, I mean really get out of here and stay somewhere else, like maybe what I did in China, maybe an even longer stay..
I just want to get out of here~~!!!!!
So anyway, here's a list of my ideal getaway:
1)Switzerland (my rich husband is waiting for me there~)
2)Tibet ( I always liked the idea of travelling to exotic places like that)
3)Nepal(refer to reason no.2)
4)Greece
5)Mongolia
6)Iceland
7)GREENland
8)Antarctica
9)Egypt
10)Rome (to say hi to the Pope)
and the list goes on and on and on..
The world is HUGE and I can neverbe able to leave my footprints on every part of it.. which is a really sad thought...
So anyway if you're my fren and reading this, you will begin to realise that I'm in one of those crazy moods again..Yeah..I know I am.. hahah!
Well, anyway I don't think I will have the resources to travel to the above-mentioned places..YET. So I can just dream on...
Guess my next most feasible goal is to find some cheap resort is some nearby 'pulaus' and laze my life away. I can almost picture myself lying on the bench along the beach reading an interesting book, minus the blardy mosquitoes..
So much for my getaway or rather, runaway..So if I ever go missing one day, you know where to find me..that is, if you even notice..
hmm..think that's enough of my nonsence for now... going back to the blardy java shit...*@$*#^%#*!!!
here's something I want to tell you, if you know who you are..
If that's the best you can do for me, I rather you left me alone.
.......
There's something I wanted to add on, so I think I will add it here...
If that's the best you can do for me, I rather you left me alone.
I'm tired of walking back and forth hoping that you'll open the door,
and I just can't hurt myself anymore..

So anyway..I think I am moving on..
smile and wave goodbye~~

well, it's the end of another week.Adrian just finished his PSLE and I am a little more free. Assignments are piling and I am simply going nuts.. hahah!
Lately I'm in one of those depressed moods again.. Guess it's the steriods.. ha! There's something I really want to do, that is, to move on... If he knows, can he please leave me alone? It'll really help alot..I've been loitering here for years and I know it's enough.. I should move on..God give me strength!
well, here's some parts of a song that I really like from pink:

Where I can run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill
You keep making me il
I haven't moved from the spot where you left me
It must be a bad trip
All of the other pills were different
Maybe I should get some help

ok... so it's a new week and I can see that my whole entire month will be like, crazy... yeah... 5 major assignments coming up.. each week plus stupid java lab assignments which usually kill me each time... I am so going to die...hahahahah...
Things are ok, just a little crazy and I don't see any time to take a breather at all.. I think I will have to stop work for the time being or something...It's really too much this time.. hahahha...
Met KC in the library, think he wanted to stop and talk but I was on the phone.. it's all Dza's fault... KC is not a crush, just someone I was and still am very impressed with... A man with Depth I call it... ust like Wilson.. hahaha... I call them impressive guys.. and the 2 guys from Law in my PS class whom I never gotten their names but still I will recognise them if I see them again...
That's bout it... better turn in..meeting feng in the morning tomorrow...Getting my pay check... YAY~~
well, here's something I want to say today:
If I could give you the stars in the sky, I would
If U prefer the moon, I would try to give it to you too..
But I couldn't, I could only hope for you to be happy and fade into the background..
I hurt myself just to see you smile...