Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Super irritated
I must blog this...
I am frickin'pissed with my Auntie's insurance agent, who was her schoolmate.. Fucking bitch...
So anyway, what happened was, this is the introduction man... and I already dislike her from the first time I've met her... STUPID BITCH.. Yah, back to the story.. The first time I met her was when we were staying at Royal Plaza on the Scotts and my auntie happen to bumo into that STUPID BITCH.. so she invited her up to the room to chat.. and I only reachd there much later.. so that BITCH talked her into getting policies.. STUPID BITCH..
OK, so it's still nto that bad and they chatted.. I'm ok with that, I mean if I meet my good friend whom I've haven't seen in years, I would love to catch up with him/her.. but it's already 11plus, doesn't she know that some people turn in early? NEVERMIND.. So my auntie and I decided to order room service.. and that STUPID BITCH is still around.. and after some time, the room service is not here, and so she thought it's not worth the wait, *it's already aspt midnight OK, afterall, I've even bathed baby and clothed her*and she decided to pack up and leave.
GUESS WAT, just as she's walking out the door, the food came.. instead of walking out the door and GO HOME, that STUPID BITCH turned backed in together with the food..*have you seen a more cheapskate-thick-skinned person?????!!* and she shared my Calamaris and my auntie's sandwich...STUPID BITCH and then after a satisfying meal, she left... STUPID BITCH
And that's not the end of my story, so last month the policy documents came and I usually collect the mails and pass them to my auntie whenever she returns from KL or if I happen to be free to go back there.. and so my auntie told m to pass the documents to that STUPID BITCH, and so THAT STUIPD BITCH messaged me and asked me to meet her.. hey, I'm a student and my schedule is not always fixed and I am really busy by the way.. so on the day I was suppose to meet her at my void deck, I got home late and I asked her to come later and she was like saying it's too late, blah blah blah.. It was only eleven..*hey, u can stay at Orchard just to eat free food at way past midnight and you say eleven is late??!*Well, whatever..
So the next time she messaged my I was not free again... and so she suggested that I drop it in her mailbox at CCK.. *MY NAME IS NOT SAM AND I AM NOT A BLOODY COURRIER AND NOT PART OF THE CHANNEL 8 9PM DRAMA* STUPID BITCH... and if you want something, you collect it, unless you are me, then you'll get your laptop flown in for you from KL.. BUT NO, YOU ARE STUPID BITCH, so you collect the stuffs you want...
ANYWay, being the DAMNED chinese ME, too nice to say no, I told her I would send the stuffs to her, meaning, POST. and I did and she kept messaging me to ask if I've sent it.. that last time I heard from her was yesterday and I've already sent it last week.. STUPID BITCH... so I don't mind the stuffs getting lost in mail.. *DAMN HER FOR THINKING I AM A SUPER FREE STUDENT WHO CAN SEND STUFFS FOR HER* and her address is nto even near to the LRT station she mentioned..STUPID BITCH.. *fumes*
Yep, now I feel better... I stayed up last night to study for my 2101 test which I thik I should do better than the last one.. I have to go do my 2250 project now.. missed 3261 project meeting cos' I don't see the point and I was truly tired...
Things I want to buy today and did not get:
1. McDonald's Fish dippers *whatever it's called, it's $1.80 now*
2. A whole set of AstroBoy figures that cost only $10.50 but *Sigh* I'm broken
3. New Slippers
4. New Sandals
5. New sneakers
6. New running shoes
7. A book that cost $5.90 on English usage
8. Mango shake from Arts Canteen
9. CLEO magazine
10. Guns N Roses new compilation CD
ON a lighter note, I got myself a cup of Milk tea with pearls.. and got conned $3 for this chicken cutlet ramen that is basically Ban3 Mian4 cooked with chicken nuggets... DAMN...
But I got to sleep from 2pm to 5pm.. OH well.. you get some, you lose some..
That's it, hope it rains soon
Signing off,
Broken student
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I am frickin'pissed with my Auntie's insurance agent, who was her schoolmate.. Fucking bitch...
So anyway, what happened was, this is the introduction man... and I already dislike her from the first time I've met her... STUPID BITCH.. Yah, back to the story.. The first time I met her was when we were staying at Royal Plaza on the Scotts and my auntie happen to bumo into that STUPID BITCH.. so she invited her up to the room to chat.. and I only reachd there much later.. so that BITCH talked her into getting policies.. STUPID BITCH..
OK, so it's still nto that bad and they chatted.. I'm ok with that, I mean if I meet my good friend whom I've haven't seen in years, I would love to catch up with him/her.. but it's already 11plus, doesn't she know that some people turn in early? NEVERMIND.. So my auntie and I decided to order room service.. and that STUPID BITCH is still around.. and after some time, the room service is not here, and so she thought it's not worth the wait, *it's already aspt midnight OK, afterall, I've even bathed baby and clothed her*and she decided to pack up and leave.
GUESS WAT, just as she's walking out the door, the food came.. instead of walking out the door and GO HOME, that STUPID BITCH turned backed in together with the food..*have you seen a more cheapskate-thick-skinned person?????!!* and she shared my Calamaris and my auntie's sandwich...STUPID BITCH and then after a satisfying meal, she left... STUPID BITCH
And that's not the end of my story, so last month the policy documents came and I usually collect the mails and pass them to my auntie whenever she returns from KL or if I happen to be free to go back there.. and so my auntie told m to pass the documents to that STUPID BITCH, and so THAT STUIPD BITCH messaged me and asked me to meet her.. hey, I'm a student and my schedule is not always fixed and I am really busy by the way.. so on the day I was suppose to meet her at my void deck, I got home late and I asked her to come later and she was like saying it's too late, blah blah blah.. It was only eleven..*hey, u can stay at Orchard just to eat free food at way past midnight and you say eleven is late??!*Well, whatever..
So the next time she messaged my I was not free again... and so she suggested that I drop it in her mailbox at CCK.. *MY NAME IS NOT SAM AND I AM NOT A BLOODY COURRIER AND NOT PART OF THE CHANNEL 8 9PM DRAMA* STUPID BITCH... and if you want something, you collect it, unless you are me, then you'll get your laptop flown in for you from KL.. BUT NO, YOU ARE STUPID BITCH, so you collect the stuffs you want...
ANYWay, being the DAMNED chinese ME, too nice to say no, I told her I would send the stuffs to her, meaning, POST. and I did and she kept messaging me to ask if I've sent it.. that last time I heard from her was yesterday and I've already sent it last week.. STUPID BITCH... so I don't mind the stuffs getting lost in mail.. *DAMN HER FOR THINKING I AM A SUPER FREE STUDENT WHO CAN SEND STUFFS FOR HER* and her address is nto even near to the LRT station she mentioned..STUPID BITCH.. *fumes*
Yep, now I feel better... I stayed up last night to study for my 2101 test which I thik I should do better than the last one.. I have to go do my 2250 project now.. missed 3261 project meeting cos' I don't see the point and I was truly tired...
Things I want to buy today and did not get:
1. McDonald's Fish dippers *whatever it's called, it's $1.80 now*
2. A whole set of AstroBoy figures that cost only $10.50 but *Sigh* I'm broken
3. New Slippers
4. New Sandals
5. New sneakers
6. New running shoes
7. A book that cost $5.90 on English usage
8. Mango shake from Arts Canteen
9. CLEO magazine
10. Guns N Roses new compilation CD
ON a lighter note, I got myself a cup of Milk tea with pearls.. and got conned $3 for this chicken cutlet ramen that is basically Ban3 Mian4 cooked with chicken nuggets... DAMN...
But I got to sleep from 2pm to 5pm.. OH well.. you get some, you lose some..
That's it, hope it rains soon
Signing off,
Broken student
Monday, March 29, 2004
Waste
Went to school for one hour
the 2nd tutorial was cancelled and we didn't know.. maybe we weren't paying attention.. hahaha
Finally I submitted my 3214 paper.. I saw a file in his pigeon hole, I just stapled my papers and threw it in, I hope we are not graded on our presentation.. hehh
Anyway, I suddenly remembered of a song..it kept repeating over and over even when it was an ULTRA hot day.. I even downloaded the track.. heheh...
Talking to Feng and Gwyn on MSN now..
Super silly.. hahahhahaha
Going back to study for 2101 test soon...
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
==November Rain, Guns and Roses===
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the 2nd tutorial was cancelled and we didn't know.. maybe we weren't paying attention.. hahaha
Finally I submitted my 3214 paper.. I saw a file in his pigeon hole, I just stapled my papers and threw it in, I hope we are not graded on our presentation.. hehh
Anyway, I suddenly remembered of a song..it kept repeating over and over even when it was an ULTRA hot day.. I even downloaded the track.. heheh...
Talking to Feng and Gwyn on MSN now..
Super silly.. hahahhahaha
Going back to study for 2101 test soon...
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
==November Rain, Guns and Roses===
On second thoughts..
Yeah, I was thinking, I should stay away from the science library after the whole incident.. think we've made a complete retard of myself.. URGH...
the geeky boy. Which isnt a bad thing. He is sweet
and sensitive and he will always be there for
you. He likes to take you out to special
places. He is diff. a keeper!!!Tehe
whats your type of guy
brought to you by Quizilla
HAhaha... I like geeky boys.. which is somewhat true.. wahahha
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the geeky boy. Which isnt a bad thing. He is sweet
and sensitive and he will always be there for
you. He likes to take you out to special
places. He is diff. a keeper!!!Tehe
whats your type of guy
brought to you by Quizilla
HAhaha... I like geeky boys.. which is somewhat true.. wahahha
Sunday, March 28, 2004
*blank*
*I must nto cut my hair, I must not cut my hair, I must not cut my hair, I must not cut my hair, I must not cut my hair* X 10000
The weather these days is ratehr warm and I am very tempted for another haircut, even when there's not much left to cut...URGH... and I am VERY tempted to give my bestest a haircut too.. haha
VERY busy... There's my 3214 paper due on Tuesday and a 2101 test on that morning too.. I AM SO GOING TO DIE... I will have another term paper due on Thurs and a test on Friday, both 2250... die die die die die die die..
and as if that's not enough, I have 2 more papers the following week which I have yet to do anything about...die die die die die die die.. X 2
which is why lately my brain is *blank* and I am trying very hard not to die prematurely.. hahaha..
Was at library yesterday with Yuans and bestest aka 'fondest'... and I totally regret showing them, no I mean Yuans LIBrian cos' I think he must have thought of us as idiot who couldn't stop giggling, I mean bursting out into outrageous guffaws whenever he appeared..Either he thinks that we, I mean I am an idiot or he thinks that I am mocking him.. either way, IT'S NO GOOD...
But still, I'm gald to see him in school.. and I shall be in the library more often than ever... wahahhahahahha
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The weather these days is ratehr warm and I am very tempted for another haircut, even when there's not much left to cut...URGH... and I am VERY tempted to give my bestest a haircut too.. haha
VERY busy... There's my 3214 paper due on Tuesday and a 2101 test on that morning too.. I AM SO GOING TO DIE... I will have another term paper due on Thurs and a test on Friday, both 2250... die die die die die die die..
and as if that's not enough, I have 2 more papers the following week which I have yet to do anything about...die die die die die die die.. X 2
which is why lately my brain is *blank* and I am trying very hard not to die prematurely.. hahaha..
Was at library yesterday with Yuans and bestest aka 'fondest'... and I totally regret showing them, no I mean Yuans LIBrian cos' I think he must have thought of us as idiot who couldn't stop giggling, I mean bursting out into outrageous guffaws whenever he appeared..Either he thinks that we, I mean I am an idiot or he thinks that I am mocking him.. either way, IT'S NO GOOD...
But still, I'm gald to see him in school.. and I shall be in the library more often than ever... wahahhahahahha
Monday, March 22, 2004
GrRrrRRr
Still very angry when I woke up this morning.. prolly cos' I did not get enough sleep that I expected..
well, on the bright side, my student did her homework pretty well, less nonsense from her.. which saved her from a lot of screaming and verbal abuse.. so anyway I felt better after the tuition.. I think she did improve... YAY~~
And I'm getting paid soon.. maybe like next week..
Just heeded my doctor's advice to exercise.. I went down for a 20 minute jog around the longkang... pretty nice just that I think I did not stretch properly so tomorrow my thighs are going to hurt.. I resolve to do this more often.. so maybe my condition will improve and will cramp lesser when I bleed?heeh..
This is the 2nd day that I've skipped medicine..*unconscious suicide* OK, I've missed my dose yesterday, but I will remind myself to forget, I mean, to take them later.. after this blog..
Next week is the week I die..I have 2 papers due and 2 tests.. SHIET... and I haven't been paying attention since prehistoric times..OH WELL...
Nothing much today... actually there's been alot but well, next time next time...
Today I heard a series of song on class 95 and I can identify with all of them.. which got me pretty excited at some point cos' some songs can really bring back some memories.. oh well.. sometimes I think too much about things I should not be even noticing.. hahahaha.... this is call ultra boliao...
The song I am playing now is by BEP.. Where is the love.. one of my favourites.. I dedicate this song to my BESTEST.. actually is he requested lah.. oh well,
You wish is my command.. ahhahaa
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well, on the bright side, my student did her homework pretty well, less nonsense from her.. which saved her from a lot of screaming and verbal abuse.. so anyway I felt better after the tuition.. I think she did improve... YAY~~
And I'm getting paid soon.. maybe like next week..
Just heeded my doctor's advice to exercise.. I went down for a 20 minute jog around the longkang... pretty nice just that I think I did not stretch properly so tomorrow my thighs are going to hurt.. I resolve to do this more often.. so maybe my condition will improve and will cramp lesser when I bleed?heeh..
This is the 2nd day that I've skipped medicine..*unconscious suicide* OK, I've missed my dose yesterday, but I will remind myself to forget, I mean, to take them later.. after this blog..
Next week is the week I die..I have 2 papers due and 2 tests.. SHIET... and I haven't been paying attention since prehistoric times..OH WELL...
Nothing much today... actually there's been alot but well, next time next time...
Today I heard a series of song on class 95 and I can identify with all of them.. which got me pretty excited at some point cos' some songs can really bring back some memories.. oh well.. sometimes I think too much about things I should not be even noticing.. hahahaha.... this is call ultra boliao...
The song I am playing now is by BEP.. Where is the love.. one of my favourites.. I dedicate this song to my BESTEST.. actually is he requested lah.. oh well,
You wish is my command.. ahhahaa
lost in you...
Haha.. so you guys like the song I chose? hahaa.
Was talking to Feng the other day about the stupid stuffs I've done for him and is still doing.. and I was like, can you imagine the expression on his face if I ever tell him.. She was like, " I can't really imagine that but I can almost see that you won't hear from him in at least the next decade..." Yeah... which reminds me that there's too much at stake..
But how can we measure such intangibles? Somtimes people tell me how much effort they put in but they never seem to get what they deserve in return.. In the first place, input does not equate output.. So how can you determine how much you deserve? I used to think how unfair it is, how much I gave up, blah blah blah.. but hey, who cares.. and at the end of the day, you are just one pathetic miserable person.. So why be so calculative?
I can't remember when it is that I decided not to expect anything in return.. and when I actually do get a little, I am usually overjoyed.. and I think these are the simple pleasures of life.. and I know at the end of the day, nothing's going to come out the way I hope things will be.. but for now, I am goingto indulge in all those teenie weenie simple pleasures.. Till I meet someone who can stop me from being sucked into this vicious cycle..
Which reminds me of something else.. Do you make assumptions about people.. like I am a tyrant? well, the thing is I am pretty fed up of the way my friends assume things about me.. No, she's not going to like this arrangement, yeah, that's her.. I think she will probably flare up and leave.. I think she is blahblahblah... ok.. maybe 60% of the time you might be right.. maybe not... Maybe you don't know me the way you do... and people DO change.. so before you are going to assume anything else about me and spread the bloody conclusion that you get... think twice or if you can't, you can consult the 1st party.. aka MOI
I mean sometimes people just assume so much that things just get complicated.. let's take Ameli's example. THere's no deny that I truly dislike her.. but hey, I don't mean I hate her to the core and I can't breathe if we were in the same room and I will die of suffocation or something.. and I am getting really pissed about people assuming that I am the evil one who had driven her to the edge and left her no alternative.. So I made a statement I dislike her and people starts to assume that I HATE her and we'll be eternal foes or something along those lines.. *GAWD* and just because I am voicing my displeasure, and everyone else didn't have the courage or ain't frank enough to do so, I am the odd one.. OH PLEASE! that's real hypocrisy... and you don't have to use me in order to bad-mouth, just because you don't have the bloody courage to do so.. and spread what you assume... ok, I am getting pretty agitated..
If you happen to think that you are who I am talking about, maybe you might want to think it through and see if you are really guilty of it.. if you think you are, time to reflect, if you conscience is clear, good for you~ *haha, I sound so righteous*
So yes, I think a little differently from others SOMETIMES.. and I do read quite abit whenever I can.. so just because you haven't come across the metaphor doesn't mean it doesn't exist and you can narrow mindedly brush it off and think it's a joke and make fun of it.. *OK I AM GETTING REALLY PISSED* you know, sometimes by making a joke out of something you don't understand does nto make you humourous but ignorant...yeah, we do have different frame of reference.. and that doesn't make mine inferior to yours.. and if you think I am superior, just admit it and stop trying to put me down, you bugger!
As I'm growing up, I've learnt that being confrontational doesn't solve any problem.. at least not for me.. so I've learnt to ignore somethings and pretend they don't exist. it doe not really improve the situation but at least it doesn't deteriorate.. So on and off you shall see me ranting stuffs like that which I might have been accumulating them for some time.. haha...
Well, this is some stuffs that I thought of while doing my tutorial and watching "forces of nature" by Ben Affleck *oh he's so cute* and Sandra Bullock. The show did not end the way I want it to.. but oh well, things seldome come my way.. so what can I do..
I hope not many people reads this 'cos I don't want people ringing me up to ask me if I was talking about them or something or might make my friends really paranoid and all.. ok, just ignore me, I was just really angry 'cos the movie did not turn out the way I wanted it to..URGH....
Anyway, the above blog sets me thinking who are those friend who really knows me.. I think I must really thank Feng who's been through so much with me.. I mean she motivates me, endures my SUPER bad temper, disgustingly crazy ethics, gone through the times with me when I was depressed, listens to all my whinings about HIM, there's so much more.. Well, if you are reading this.. Thank you very much.. AND I'M NOT DRUNK OR SMOKING WEED!~ and too all other friends, thanks very much too for putting up with me.. And no, I am not going to die..
I guess I am really stressed up 'cos exams is within 3 weeks and I have 4 projects undone and I have yet to revise my work... so pardon my blogs.. hahahaha
I need to sleep.... there's a song that I was reminded today.. it's a Bee Gees song.. very romantic.. and oh, how I wish I was very young again.. *I am still young OK*
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
we used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
some one else moved in from far away.
(chorus)
Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
and you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
but guess we'll cry come first of May.
The apple tree that grew for you and me,
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And I recall the moment of them all,
the day I kissed your cheek and you were mine.
(chorus...)
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
do do do do do do do do do...
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
some one else moved in from far away.
===First of may===
Reminds of my the times I used to take pictures 'under' the christmas tree during christmas at orchard road with my family.. reminds me of James, my childhood friend, whom we've lost touch after we both got self-conscious and he shifted somewhere else.. I haven't seen him since 8... K, share more bout my times with James next time.. hahaha... my innocent childhood...
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Was talking to Feng the other day about the stupid stuffs I've done for him and is still doing.. and I was like, can you imagine the expression on his face if I ever tell him.. She was like, " I can't really imagine that but I can almost see that you won't hear from him in at least the next decade..." Yeah... which reminds me that there's too much at stake..
But how can we measure such intangibles? Somtimes people tell me how much effort they put in but they never seem to get what they deserve in return.. In the first place, input does not equate output.. So how can you determine how much you deserve? I used to think how unfair it is, how much I gave up, blah blah blah.. but hey, who cares.. and at the end of the day, you are just one pathetic miserable person.. So why be so calculative?
I can't remember when it is that I decided not to expect anything in return.. and when I actually do get a little, I am usually overjoyed.. and I think these are the simple pleasures of life.. and I know at the end of the day, nothing's going to come out the way I hope things will be.. but for now, I am goingto indulge in all those teenie weenie simple pleasures.. Till I meet someone who can stop me from being sucked into this vicious cycle..
Which reminds me of something else.. Do you make assumptions about people.. like I am a tyrant? well, the thing is I am pretty fed up of the way my friends assume things about me.. No, she's not going to like this arrangement, yeah, that's her.. I think she will probably flare up and leave.. I think she is blahblahblah... ok.. maybe 60% of the time you might be right.. maybe not... Maybe you don't know me the way you do... and people DO change.. so before you are going to assume anything else about me and spread the bloody conclusion that you get... think twice or if you can't, you can consult the 1st party.. aka MOI
I mean sometimes people just assume so much that things just get complicated.. let's take Ameli's example. THere's no deny that I truly dislike her.. but hey, I don't mean I hate her to the core and I can't breathe if we were in the same room and I will die of suffocation or something.. and I am getting really pissed about people assuming that I am the evil one who had driven her to the edge and left her no alternative.. So I made a statement I dislike her and people starts to assume that I HATE her and we'll be eternal foes or something along those lines.. *GAWD* and just because I am voicing my displeasure, and everyone else didn't have the courage or ain't frank enough to do so, I am the odd one.. OH PLEASE! that's real hypocrisy... and you don't have to use me in order to bad-mouth, just because you don't have the bloody courage to do so.. and spread what you assume... ok, I am getting pretty agitated..
If you happen to think that you are who I am talking about, maybe you might want to think it through and see if you are really guilty of it.. if you think you are, time to reflect, if you conscience is clear, good for you~ *haha, I sound so righteous*
So yes, I think a little differently from others SOMETIMES.. and I do read quite abit whenever I can.. so just because you haven't come across the metaphor doesn't mean it doesn't exist and you can narrow mindedly brush it off and think it's a joke and make fun of it.. *OK I AM GETTING REALLY PISSED* you know, sometimes by making a joke out of something you don't understand does nto make you humourous but ignorant...yeah, we do have different frame of reference.. and that doesn't make mine inferior to yours.. and if you think I am superior, just admit it and stop trying to put me down, you bugger!
As I'm growing up, I've learnt that being confrontational doesn't solve any problem.. at least not for me.. so I've learnt to ignore somethings and pretend they don't exist. it doe not really improve the situation but at least it doesn't deteriorate.. So on and off you shall see me ranting stuffs like that which I might have been accumulating them for some time.. haha...
Well, this is some stuffs that I thought of while doing my tutorial and watching "forces of nature" by Ben Affleck *oh he's so cute* and Sandra Bullock. The show did not end the way I want it to.. but oh well, things seldome come my way.. so what can I do..
I hope not many people reads this 'cos I don't want people ringing me up to ask me if I was talking about them or something or might make my friends really paranoid and all.. ok, just ignore me, I was just really angry 'cos the movie did not turn out the way I wanted it to..URGH....
Anyway, the above blog sets me thinking who are those friend who really knows me.. I think I must really thank Feng who's been through so much with me.. I mean she motivates me, endures my SUPER bad temper, disgustingly crazy ethics, gone through the times with me when I was depressed, listens to all my whinings about HIM, there's so much more.. Well, if you are reading this.. Thank you very much.. AND I'M NOT DRUNK OR SMOKING WEED!~ and too all other friends, thanks very much too for putting up with me.. And no, I am not going to die..
I guess I am really stressed up 'cos exams is within 3 weeks and I have 4 projects undone and I have yet to revise my work... so pardon my blogs.. hahahaha
I need to sleep.... there's a song that I was reminded today.. it's a Bee Gees song.. very romantic.. and oh, how I wish I was very young again.. *I am still young OK*
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
we used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
some one else moved in from far away.
(chorus)
Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
and you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
but guess we'll cry come first of May.
The apple tree that grew for you and me,
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And I recall the moment of them all,
the day I kissed your cheek and you were mine.
(chorus...)
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
do do do do do do do do do...
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
some one else moved in from far away.
===First of may===
Reminds of my the times I used to take pictures 'under' the christmas tree during christmas at orchard road with my family.. reminds me of James, my childhood friend, whom we've lost touch after we both got self-conscious and he shifted somewhere else.. I haven't seen him since 8... K, share more bout my times with James next time.. hahaha... my innocent childhood...
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Jap food
Had Jap food at clementi 2 days in a row.. it's this little shop I discovered with Feng yesterday and today I went there again with Biling.. It's pretty cheap, so the meal was quite satisfying..
Went back to school to finish my essay, which I didn't... then went shopping at OG Orchard point.. LIBrian is not in school today..*SUPER SAD* which was kind of why I'm not motivated to finish up my essay.. heh...
Was reading streats paper and came across this article by Philip-the-irritatin'ol-ass.. he's my customer at Bar 6, aka the VIP bar.. this idiotic old man who is damn horny and likes to tell dirty jokes and sing as if he owns the whole bar.. Stupid sucker.. anyway, he wrote about his retreat at home after hurting his leg, *why didn't that happen when I was werking so that I dun have to see that stupid ass* well and he was commenting about nice remixes of the old songs and he kept added some lyrics of the song.. I can almost hear him singing them as I read the article.. YUCK.. anwyay, it's a dumb, senseless, totally waste-of-space article which I think is only published because he is Philip and the bugger must have pestered his friends, those members at Singapoer Press Club in charge of Streats to publish it.. Can't remember who it is... whatever, just some styupid ass stupid enough to publich that stupid article.. Stupid old man...
Anyway..'nuff said bout that stupid ass.. There's some stuffs I forgot to mention.. it's some lesson I learnt from my friend... the one I was discussing with Coins that day..
感动, 感激, 感情... some how these are three separate matters.. ok, maybe the first two can be linked together.. but definitely not the third.. so for the benefit of those who can't read chinese, the first is touched, the second is gratitude and the third is feelings.. Gan dong, Gan Ji, Gan qing.. Many times, we stupidly treat the person we like very nicely hoping that one day they will be touched and will reciprocate our feelings.. but usually, it's only the first part that will happen... I think most of the times, they will be touched and are grateful to what you've done for them, but no, there's no chemistry.. There simply isn't any feelings.. At least not the type you wished for.. So I know no matter how hard I try, I can only achieve the first two 'levels' and it's nobody's fault *ok, maybe mine* that he hasn't any feelings for me..
and I'm not alone in this shit... it's a universal phenomenon.. and I'm not sure about the statistics but I'm sure unrequitted love is one of the most common tragedy that can happen to anyone of us.. so if you have't gone through that, you must be pretty uncommon, and that makes you pathetic!~
uh.... yeah I feel better now... so anyway I bought an OP bag for my 'beloved' cousin.. hahaha... we just love to call each other that to gross the hell out of each other.. ahhaha
So much for my thoughts.. yes, I am almost brain-dead now...
Was singing some songs on my way home today... suddenly thought of the world greatest band *in my opinion* TAKE THAT.. So here's a song I want to share, sung by Howard, the one with the not-bad-voice-nice-body-nice-dreadlocks-niceeyebrow-and-nipple-piercing guy... which sums up to a SUPER kewl guy.. but at that time when they were still around, my maturity level only allowed me to appreciate Mark Owen *I still do* but I think if I were to choose again, Howard will be my choice..That's what age can do to you.. ahhaha
so here's the song.. just love the melody...
You came to me, baby
And I though that I saw love in your eyes
But all the promises you made were not to be
I should have seen through your disguise
Ohh no baby you know you always tried
Make me look the fool, what's goin' on
You used to be so good to me now what is wrong
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
What has happened to you lately
I don't sense that lovin', feelin' anymore
Everytime you bring me down I wanna cry
Do you wanna see me walkin' out that door
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
Ohhh no baby you know you're always trying
To make me look the fool
Won't you tell me why you hurt me
Is this the love has got to be
No baby, I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
==If this is love==
Sung innocently by Howard.. Yeah I am a Take That fan and I'm proud of it~~
|
Went back to school to finish my essay, which I didn't... then went shopping at OG Orchard point.. LIBrian is not in school today..*SUPER SAD* which was kind of why I'm not motivated to finish up my essay.. heh...
Was reading streats paper and came across this article by Philip-the-irritatin'ol-ass.. he's my customer at Bar 6, aka the VIP bar.. this idiotic old man who is damn horny and likes to tell dirty jokes and sing as if he owns the whole bar.. Stupid sucker.. anyway, he wrote about his retreat at home after hurting his leg, *why didn't that happen when I was werking so that I dun have to see that stupid ass* well and he was commenting about nice remixes of the old songs and he kept added some lyrics of the song.. I can almost hear him singing them as I read the article.. YUCK.. anwyay, it's a dumb, senseless, totally waste-of-space article which I think is only published because he is Philip and the bugger must have pestered his friends, those members at Singapoer Press Club in charge of Streats to publish it.. Can't remember who it is... whatever, just some styupid ass stupid enough to publich that stupid article.. Stupid old man...
Anyway..'nuff said bout that stupid ass.. There's some stuffs I forgot to mention.. it's some lesson I learnt from my friend... the one I was discussing with Coins that day..
感动, 感激, 感情... some how these are three separate matters.. ok, maybe the first two can be linked together.. but definitely not the third.. so for the benefit of those who can't read chinese, the first is touched, the second is gratitude and the third is feelings.. Gan dong, Gan Ji, Gan qing.. Many times, we stupidly treat the person we like very nicely hoping that one day they will be touched and will reciprocate our feelings.. but usually, it's only the first part that will happen... I think most of the times, they will be touched and are grateful to what you've done for them, but no, there's no chemistry.. There simply isn't any feelings.. At least not the type you wished for.. So I know no matter how hard I try, I can only achieve the first two 'levels' and it's nobody's fault *ok, maybe mine* that he hasn't any feelings for me..
and I'm not alone in this shit... it's a universal phenomenon.. and I'm not sure about the statistics but I'm sure unrequitted love is one of the most common tragedy that can happen to anyone of us.. so if you have't gone through that, you must be pretty uncommon, and that makes you pathetic!~
uh.... yeah I feel better now... so anyway I bought an OP bag for my 'beloved' cousin.. hahaha... we just love to call each other that to gross the hell out of each other.. ahhaha
So much for my thoughts.. yes, I am almost brain-dead now...
Was singing some songs on my way home today... suddenly thought of the world greatest band *in my opinion* TAKE THAT.. So here's a song I want to share, sung by Howard, the one with the not-bad-voice-nice-body-nice-dreadlocks-niceeyebrow-and-nipple-piercing guy... which sums up to a SUPER kewl guy.. but at that time when they were still around, my maturity level only allowed me to appreciate Mark Owen *I still do* but I think if I were to choose again, Howard will be my choice..That's what age can do to you.. ahhaha
so here's the song.. just love the melody...
You came to me, baby
And I though that I saw love in your eyes
But all the promises you made were not to be
I should have seen through your disguise
Ohh no baby you know you always tried
Make me look the fool, what's goin' on
You used to be so good to me now what is wrong
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
What has happened to you lately
I don't sense that lovin', feelin' anymore
Everytime you bring me down I wanna cry
Do you wanna see me walkin' out that door
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
Ohhh no baby you know you're always trying
To make me look the fool
Won't you tell me why you hurt me
Is this the love has got to be
No baby, I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
Tell me why you wanna hurt me
Is this the way that love has got to be
Now baby I can't take it
If this is love then love's not meant for me
==If this is love==
Sung innocently by Howard.. Yeah I am a Take That fan and I'm proud of it~~
Friday, March 19, 2004
Communication..
Well, I've been reading up LOADS on communication as I am trying to finish my paper on this topic... I guess I will head Science library tomorrow to finish it up.. There's Malay wedding tomorrow under my block..URGH
So according to what I've been reading, effective communication is sharing of information with people and transmitting what you feel.. it is only effective when your intention matches the receiver's understanding.. SO, are we communicating the effective way? Or is our communication just one-way.. or are we not communicating at all?
Very tired... going to take my medicine and ZzzZzz.. continue this another time.. haha
|
So according to what I've been reading, effective communication is sharing of information with people and transmitting what you feel.. it is only effective when your intention matches the receiver's understanding.. SO, are we communicating the effective way? Or is our communication just one-way.. or are we not communicating at all?
Very tired... going to take my medicine and ZzzZzz.. continue this another time.. haha
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Love, Actually...
Just caught the uncut version of Love Actually with Coins at Cineleisure.. It was not bad, a little 'unorganised' I would say.. Cos' there's just so many couples in it.. and turns out everyone is linked to everyone in some ways.. So my favourite quote in this show is from this joker, Billy, an ex rocker who said this on a TV show to kids watching it:
'Don't buy drugs' and then he paused..
'Be a pop star, and they'll give it to you fo free'
And the whole cinema flipped.. So he is my 2nd most-liked character..
the one I like most is KARL... KARL KARL KARL... hahaha... I can see Coins nodding as she's reading this.. ahhaa.. Hope she's not bruised by my constant squeezing and learning on her whenever he appeared on screen... URGh.. he is SO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN cute... Rodrigo SanSomthing... hahaha... OK, I wouldn't mind marrying a pauper who looks like that.. I wouldn't mind starving to death in his arms..
ok, that's shallow but hey, we get to be shallow once in a while yeah?
Hugh Grant is pretty cute too.. in his suit and all.. but Karl wins hands down man.. heh
Uh... so since we are on the topic of love, let's talk about love... Have you been in love with someone so much that you can't control your feelings? *familiar huh, Coins?*
I mean we were talking about someone we know this afternoon and we wonder why some things turn out this way and why some people act the way the do.. and I realise when you are in love with someone, and is still in touch, it is quite hard for you to forget THAT person... and each time when you interact, you get very sensitve of what the other person says.. and every little insignificant detail can be transformed into a glitter of hope. And sometimes a little of that can just let you lose control of your suppressed feelings and you just allow your imagination to run while.. *get a grip*
I think that was what is happening.. I can't think of a better reason... So my conclusion is that loving someone makes you irrational.. There's no way to reason and justify your silly actions.. and you can't prevent yourself from acting those ways... You just do what your heart tells you even when your head is screaming at you not to... and you hate yourself for being so weak..
So my dear readers, do you feel the same way some times? I'm not sure if this is really love or infatuation.. or maybe it's both.... Sometimes it's really difficult to define or classify feelings too.. I guess matters of the heart is always very complicated.. oh man..
While talking to Coins on the bus on our way home *yes, I managed to psycho her to take 190-180 home..* they song look what love has done was constantly playing in my head... yeah.. look what love has done.. but of cause we can't blame every single irrational action on love.. sometimes u ask for it.. and sometimes we just need to learn from the hard way.. OH WELL...
You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you
You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
You said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go
"You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."
You say I only hear what I want to
So I'm ending with this song, Stay. I know I only hear what I want to, but why not if that makes my life a little more bearable?
|
'Don't buy drugs' and then he paused..
'Be a pop star, and they'll give it to you fo free'
And the whole cinema flipped.. So he is my 2nd most-liked character..
the one I like most is KARL... KARL KARL KARL... hahaha... I can see Coins nodding as she's reading this.. ahhaa.. Hope she's not bruised by my constant squeezing and learning on her whenever he appeared on screen... URGh.. he is SO DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN cute... Rodrigo SanSomthing... hahaha... OK, I wouldn't mind marrying a pauper who looks like that.. I wouldn't mind starving to death in his arms..
ok, that's shallow but hey, we get to be shallow once in a while yeah?
Hugh Grant is pretty cute too.. in his suit and all.. but Karl wins hands down man.. heh
Uh... so since we are on the topic of love, let's talk about love... Have you been in love with someone so much that you can't control your feelings? *familiar huh, Coins?*
I mean we were talking about someone we know this afternoon and we wonder why some things turn out this way and why some people act the way the do.. and I realise when you are in love with someone, and is still in touch, it is quite hard for you to forget THAT person... and each time when you interact, you get very sensitve of what the other person says.. and every little insignificant detail can be transformed into a glitter of hope. And sometimes a little of that can just let you lose control of your suppressed feelings and you just allow your imagination to run while.. *get a grip*
I think that was what is happening.. I can't think of a better reason... So my conclusion is that loving someone makes you irrational.. There's no way to reason and justify your silly actions.. and you can't prevent yourself from acting those ways... You just do what your heart tells you even when your head is screaming at you not to... and you hate yourself for being so weak..
So my dear readers, do you feel the same way some times? I'm not sure if this is really love or infatuation.. or maybe it's both.... Sometimes it's really difficult to define or classify feelings too.. I guess matters of the heart is always very complicated.. oh man..
While talking to Coins on the bus on our way home *yes, I managed to psycho her to take 190-180 home..* they song look what love has done was constantly playing in my head... yeah.. look what love has done.. but of cause we can't blame every single irrational action on love.. sometimes u ask for it.. and sometimes we just need to learn from the hard way.. OH WELL...
You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you
You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no
So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
You said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go
"You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."
You say I only hear what I want to
So I'm ending with this song, Stay. I know I only hear what I want to, but why not if that makes my life a little more bearable?
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Bleeding..
What do gurls talk about when they get together? Shopping, guys, school stuffs, bitching about project mates, personal stuffs like their 'bleeding' cycle.. Which me, Junling and Yuans did when we met up this afternoon.. and cioincidentally, we are all bleeding at that moment.. wahahahhaaha...
Super tired, had only 4 hours of sleep... my sleep was disrupted by severe tummy cramp.. and I practically cried myself to sleep.. maybe i have a low threshold for pain.. which might be true.. or maybe it's really painful.. so within the last 12 hours I popped 8 painkillers.. in no time, I will need marijuana.. hahahah!
I skipped my 4pm lecture.. and kind of regretted it since the lecture is on my research paper topic.. oh, what's skipped cannot be unskipped, yeah? Guess i have to read up much more and worked triply hard...
Met up for my 3261 project.. we were pretty efficient.. so not bad.. yay~ have to go back to work on my other projects... too much work, don't really know which one to start with... URGH
Today we were discussing on the bus about Kids, I really mean KIDS of 9, 10, losing IT.. oh my... what is the werld becoming.. and we are talking about local KIDS.. oh well, I guess parents play a rather important role in the upbringing.. If possible, I would like to bring up my kid and watch her/him/them grow.. and guide them so they won't become news headlines.. If possible, meaning that I marry a rich guy who can afford to keep me idle at home.. whahaha... the taitai theory again...
Yup, that's about it... today I was reminded of my facvourite movie Dirty Dancing again... When will I get my VCD back??? and watch DD2.... Urgh....
Song of the day, was listening to radio and heard this song and it reminded me of Esther, a very good friend from my Primary school days who would go gaga over cute guys...
My heart is filled with so much love
and i need someone i can call my own
to fall in love, that's worths everyone's dream of
i know this feelin oh so strong
life is too short tolive alone without someone
to call my own, i will care for you, you will care for me
our love will live forever
chorus:
shower me with your love
shower me with the love that i long for
shower me with your love
shower me with the love i've been waiting for
I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
everynight i go to sleep, until you're mine i wait for you
endlessly, can't you see. Fairy tales they do, sometimes come true
if you believe it, could happen to you
like the stars that shine way up in the sky
our love will last forever
Repeat chorus:
like the stars that shine way up in the the sky
our love will last forever x2
==Shower me with your love, TOMMY PAGE *starts to drool*==
Fairy tales they do, sometimes come true...
My fairy tale, it all depends on you..
|
Super tired, had only 4 hours of sleep... my sleep was disrupted by severe tummy cramp.. and I practically cried myself to sleep.. maybe i have a low threshold for pain.. which might be true.. or maybe it's really painful.. so within the last 12 hours I popped 8 painkillers.. in no time, I will need marijuana.. hahahah!
I skipped my 4pm lecture.. and kind of regretted it since the lecture is on my research paper topic.. oh, what's skipped cannot be unskipped, yeah? Guess i have to read up much more and worked triply hard...
Met up for my 3261 project.. we were pretty efficient.. so not bad.. yay~ have to go back to work on my other projects... too much work, don't really know which one to start with... URGH
Today we were discussing on the bus about Kids, I really mean KIDS of 9, 10, losing IT.. oh my... what is the werld becoming.. and we are talking about local KIDS.. oh well, I guess parents play a rather important role in the upbringing.. If possible, I would like to bring up my kid and watch her/him/them grow.. and guide them so they won't become news headlines.. If possible, meaning that I marry a rich guy who can afford to keep me idle at home.. whahaha... the taitai theory again...
Yup, that's about it... today I was reminded of my facvourite movie Dirty Dancing again... When will I get my VCD back??? and watch DD2.... Urgh....
Song of the day, was listening to radio and heard this song and it reminded me of Esther, a very good friend from my Primary school days who would go gaga over cute guys...
My heart is filled with so much love
and i need someone i can call my own
to fall in love, that's worths everyone's dream of
i know this feelin oh so strong
life is too short tolive alone without someone
to call my own, i will care for you, you will care for me
our love will live forever
chorus:
shower me with your love
shower me with the love that i long for
shower me with your love
shower me with the love i've been waiting for
I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
everynight i go to sleep, until you're mine i wait for you
endlessly, can't you see. Fairy tales they do, sometimes come true
if you believe it, could happen to you
like the stars that shine way up in the sky
our love will last forever
Repeat chorus:
like the stars that shine way up in the the sky
our love will last forever x2
==Shower me with your love, TOMMY PAGE *starts to drool*==
Fairy tales they do, sometimes come true...
My fairy tale, it all depends on you..
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Banana Spree~~
It's another day I gobbled down a whole comb of bananas, UNconsciously.. Was watching the Mariam Yeung (issit spelt this way?) movie and having a good laugh and of cos' sending nice bananas down my throat.. And I am too full to have dinner, NO I AM NOT ON DIET..(though I really ought to restrict what I eat..) So anyway, now I am having this tummyache-but-can't-Sh*t-but-going-to-soon syndrome.. Guess I shall attack another comb of bananas while oggling at Keanu on Channel 5..
I think I must be a monki last life, that's the only 'logical' answer for my love for bananas and monkis.. ahahaha...
Oh, I went to church again.. and I think my parents like going to the Woodlands' church and wonder if it's me or what, everytime I go there, the priest that is SUPER long-winded will be there for the Mass.... and those who know me will somehow know that I am those who can't wait to leave the church, so I always appreciate priest who conducts 'chop-chop' Mass, preferably within an hour.. (ok hope that I won't get punished for blogging this.. GOD, I still want to see Librian and SOCian and all thcute guys in the world and NOT BE super sway...)
Well, then we went for breakfast at Woodlands.. The Malays stall sells SUPER nice beef lungs.. My mum can't cook beef lungs and I wonder if I should marry a Malay just to learn how to cook beef lungs.. hahaha.... and of cos', marry a SUPER cute/kewl/charming/smart/ and if possible, RICH malay... Some Datuk something-something.. or some prince and owns a garage of Porsches or Ferraris or what's that called? Rolls Royce.. and maybe a private jet, blah blah blah...oh yah, if he satisfies all that, I don't really have to learn to cook yeah? I can have tonnes and tonnes of beef lungs cooked for my in all the ways I can think of... BBQ-ed, Deep fried, TOM yUM, Samba, Rendang,Baked, Stew, blah blah blah.... wahahhahaha
ok, I better make this a short one.. going back to my books and of cos' the ever so cute Keana.. hehehhe
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN you practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' in the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love *WE'RE spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN you practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
==Black eyed pea, don't think I need any introduction to this song==
Something I can play repeated like 1001 times and never get tired of it..
Peace bro, peace~~
|
I think I must be a monki last life, that's the only 'logical' answer for my love for bananas and monkis.. ahahaha...
Oh, I went to church again.. and I think my parents like going to the Woodlands' church and wonder if it's me or what, everytime I go there, the priest that is SUPER long-winded will be there for the Mass.... and those who know me will somehow know that I am those who can't wait to leave the church, so I always appreciate priest who conducts 'chop-chop' Mass, preferably within an hour.. (ok hope that I won't get punished for blogging this.. GOD, I still want to see Librian and SOCian and all thcute guys in the world and NOT BE super sway...)
Well, then we went for breakfast at Woodlands.. The Malays stall sells SUPER nice beef lungs.. My mum can't cook beef lungs and I wonder if I should marry a Malay just to learn how to cook beef lungs.. hahaha.... and of cos', marry a SUPER cute/kewl/charming/smart/ and if possible, RICH malay... Some Datuk something-something.. or some prince and owns a garage of Porsches or Ferraris or what's that called? Rolls Royce.. and maybe a private jet, blah blah blah...oh yah, if he satisfies all that, I don't really have to learn to cook yeah? I can have tonnes and tonnes of beef lungs cooked for my in all the ways I can think of... BBQ-ed, Deep fried, TOM yUM, Samba, Rendang,Baked, Stew, blah blah blah.... wahahhahaha
ok, I better make this a short one.. going back to my books and of cos' the ever so cute Keana.. hehehhe
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN you practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' in the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love *WE'RE spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
*CAN you practice what you preach
*AND would you turn the other cheek
*SEND some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
==Black eyed pea, don't think I need any introduction to this song==
Something I can play repeated like 1001 times and never get tired of it..
Peace bro, peace~~
Saturday, March 13, 2004
Walking in the rain~
Spent a rather constructive day.. Was in school from about 2 to 6 and copied almost all of my readings as well as did some research for my 3214 paper... I was contemplating on which topic to do and I decided to stick to communications.. Things like reform and administration ain't exactly my forte.. so well...Anyway, I am pretty glad that I dragged myself to school as I know that if I stayed home, nothing would've been done..
and despite the renovations going on in central library, I was not bothered at all.. the only thing that I missed is oggling at 'librian' wahahahahhaaha
Anyway today is NUS open house and there were alot of stupid kids loitering around and taking up space on bus.. STUPID KIDS...
As I was on my way home, I witnessed something I regard as magical. I watched the sky turn from sunny to both sunny and cloudy, to cloudy, to damn cloudy andthen it rained...
What was so amazing was prolly the part where it's a mix between sunny and cloudy, so you can see the juxtaposition of dark cloud and the setting sun.. VERY nice.. and I was on the bus, just before SIM, there's this park.. so you can see a rather shady park with strips of golden sun..ok, I guess my description ain't that good to convince anyone, but I was simply overwhelmed by the sight... If only I had a camera and was not on the bus...
Just yesterday, Feng and I were at engine, around the office of finance and we saw another DAMN beautiful sight.. It was sunset and there were like 2 layers in the sky.. very 3-D kind of thing.. OK, I am not good at describing stuffs, I know... I was like exclaiming and excited and all.. and Feng was like, so, do you need a camera for that? oh well, but in the end she admitted it's beautiful.. So if you are broke and needs to be romantic, just hang around NUS at dusk.. and look in the PSA direction.. VERY nice..
Anyway, on the bus, after witnessing the nice stuffs, it started to rain VERY heavily. And at 7pm, it was unusually bright and I wonder if that's some sign or something.. Will the rain never stop and drown the island.. and another stupid thought came.. " Am I going to die?" Which is not really bad.. but I was alone on the bus with strangers.. and I haven't got the chance to tell everyone how much they meant to me.. especially *him*. And then at railmall area, the junction just before Hillview, smoke started to appear at my side of the bus. I was sitting by the window.. and I was like.. *ok, that's it*
Well, apparently it's just another of my rather silly and ultra boliao thought.. I am home in one piece..
I decided to alight at the water catchment area and walk home since the weather is so nice.. Luckily I brought my brolly... and hey, I did not trip.. haha
So today I learnt to procrastinate less, enjoy the beauty of nature more and appreciate my life and the people around me more.. YAY~
SOme stuffs I want to do before I die:
- sky dive (not bungee, if anything crops up, I die sky diving, but bungee I migth get paralysed... I rather die)
- Open a backpackers inn
- before that, be a backpacker myself
- Travel, travel, travel~~~
- Teach in a special-ed school
- be able to drive properly
- make the world a better place (duh...)
there's many more... I guess I'll continue some other day...
Movies I want to watch TODAY:
- My girl ( the new Thai one)
Song of the day:
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces, of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, sayin' "how do you do?"
They're really sayin' "I love you"
I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more, than I'll never know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Oh yeah
==What a wonderful world, many versions prolly the Armstrong guy did the most classic one==
So enlightened to day, I can feel my halo floating above me.. wahhahahahahha
|
and despite the renovations going on in central library, I was not bothered at all.. the only thing that I missed is oggling at 'librian' wahahahahhaaha
Anyway today is NUS open house and there were alot of stupid kids loitering around and taking up space on bus.. STUPID KIDS...
As I was on my way home, I witnessed something I regard as magical. I watched the sky turn from sunny to both sunny and cloudy, to cloudy, to damn cloudy andthen it rained...
What was so amazing was prolly the part where it's a mix between sunny and cloudy, so you can see the juxtaposition of dark cloud and the setting sun.. VERY nice.. and I was on the bus, just before SIM, there's this park.. so you can see a rather shady park with strips of golden sun..ok, I guess my description ain't that good to convince anyone, but I was simply overwhelmed by the sight... If only I had a camera and was not on the bus...
Just yesterday, Feng and I were at engine, around the office of finance and we saw another DAMN beautiful sight.. It was sunset and there were like 2 layers in the sky.. very 3-D kind of thing.. OK, I am not good at describing stuffs, I know... I was like exclaiming and excited and all.. and Feng was like, so, do you need a camera for that? oh well, but in the end she admitted it's beautiful.. So if you are broke and needs to be romantic, just hang around NUS at dusk.. and look in the PSA direction.. VERY nice..
Anyway, on the bus, after witnessing the nice stuffs, it started to rain VERY heavily. And at 7pm, it was unusually bright and I wonder if that's some sign or something.. Will the rain never stop and drown the island.. and another stupid thought came.. " Am I going to die?" Which is not really bad.. but I was alone on the bus with strangers.. and I haven't got the chance to tell everyone how much they meant to me.. especially *him*. And then at railmall area, the junction just before Hillview, smoke started to appear at my side of the bus. I was sitting by the window.. and I was like.. *ok, that's it*
Well, apparently it's just another of my rather silly and ultra boliao thought.. I am home in one piece..
I decided to alight at the water catchment area and walk home since the weather is so nice.. Luckily I brought my brolly... and hey, I did not trip.. haha
So today I learnt to procrastinate less, enjoy the beauty of nature more and appreciate my life and the people around me more.. YAY~
SOme stuffs I want to do before I die:
- sky dive (not bungee, if anything crops up, I die sky diving, but bungee I migth get paralysed... I rather die)
- Open a backpackers inn
- before that, be a backpacker myself
- Travel, travel, travel~~~
- Teach in a special-ed school
- be able to drive properly
- make the world a better place (duh...)
there's many more... I guess I'll continue some other day...
Movies I want to watch TODAY:
- My girl ( the new Thai one)
Song of the day:
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces, of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, sayin' "how do you do?"
They're really sayin' "I love you"
I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more, than I'll never know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Oh yeah
==What a wonderful world, many versions prolly the Armstrong guy did the most classic one==
So enlightened to day, I can feel my halo floating above me.. wahhahahahahha
Thursday, March 11, 2004
The way
Just wana start this blog with an ultra nice, kewl song. The first time it made an impression on me was during 1st 3 months orientation when my YJC crush performed the song.. And I thought that was the kewlest performance... and that's how I keep crushing on Malays, skaters, guys in rock bands, basically kewl guys.. hahaha! Anyway the tune just appeared in my head today on my way home.. and the song kept on playing again and again and again.. well, I'm not complainin~
They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going Without ever knowing the way?
They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down They started walking
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?
CHORUS:
Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today , today
The children woke up
And they couldn't find 'em
They Left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off
And left it all behind 'em
But Where were they going Without ever knowing the way?
Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They Won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happy there today , today (repeat)
==The way, fastball==
Which reminds me of the time when I tried to stalk him.. Can't remember his name tho.. just that everyone in my class knew that he's MY kewl guy.. hahaha! oh well, my lost youth.. again...
What happens when a school-loser becomes a 'hunk' or celebrity? haha..
I was so shocked to know from Yuans today that Yeo Ping was rather popular in JJ.. haaha.. whatever he becomes, I still think he is a loser.. ok, maybe he's not that bad.. but well, I don't think he's that good either... think the gurls are blind.. or judging from the people who went JJ.. maybe the gurls didn't have much of a choice.. hahahah!
Just watched American Idol.. I think they did pretty well.. The only two I didn't like were the Bitchy Cheerleader and Leah.. I mean the first one is a bitch, the other one just didn't sing well enough.. I totally agree that she sounds shaky.. ok, Mathew didn't sing that well either, but hey, he's got a nice smile, so he's redeemed.. hahaha!
Movies I want to watch currently:
The Passion of the Christ ( not because I am Catholic or what, but hey it's Mel)
Irreversible (so much talk about it)
Along came Polly (did I list this last time?)
DIRTY DANCING 2: Havana something something.. (COINS, is my VCD still with you??)
Lost in Translation (I'm waiting for someone to download so that I can d/l from her or him)
Uh.. that's about it... I went to school today and yesterday.. YAY~
Oh and I saw 'JOEY' aka Langyi on the bus, I mean I was on the bus and she, on the road.. ahahha..
Going to sleep,
Signing off,
Faithful Ellie -_-*
|
They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going Without ever knowing the way?
They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down They started walking
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?
CHORUS:
Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happier there today , today
The children woke up
And they couldn't find 'em
They Left before the sun came up that day
They just drove off
And left it all behind 'em
But Where were they going Without ever knowing the way?
Anyone could see The road that they walk on is paved in gold
And It's always summer, they'll never get cold
They'll Never get hungry
They'll never get old and gray
You can see their shadows Wandering off somewhere
They Won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happy there today , today (repeat)
==The way, fastball==
Which reminds me of the time when I tried to stalk him.. Can't remember his name tho.. just that everyone in my class knew that he's MY kewl guy.. hahaha! oh well, my lost youth.. again...
What happens when a school-loser becomes a 'hunk' or celebrity? haha..
I was so shocked to know from Yuans today that Yeo Ping was rather popular in JJ.. haaha.. whatever he becomes, I still think he is a loser.. ok, maybe he's not that bad.. but well, I don't think he's that good either... think the gurls are blind.. or judging from the people who went JJ.. maybe the gurls didn't have much of a choice.. hahahah!
Just watched American Idol.. I think they did pretty well.. The only two I didn't like were the Bitchy Cheerleader and Leah.. I mean the first one is a bitch, the other one just didn't sing well enough.. I totally agree that she sounds shaky.. ok, Mathew didn't sing that well either, but hey, he's got a nice smile, so he's redeemed.. hahaha!
Movies I want to watch currently:
The Passion of the Christ ( not because I am Catholic or what, but hey it's Mel)
Irreversible (so much talk about it)
Along came Polly (did I list this last time?)
DIRTY DANCING 2: Havana something something.. (COINS, is my VCD still with you??)
Lost in Translation (I'm waiting for someone to download so that I can d/l from her or him)
Uh.. that's about it... I went to school today and yesterday.. YAY~
Oh and I saw 'JOEY' aka Langyi on the bus, I mean I was on the bus and she, on the road.. ahahha..
Going to sleep,
Signing off,
Faithful Ellie -_-*
Monday, March 08, 2004
I'm only happy when it rains~~
well, not quite. I'll be quite happy if I see my crush.. if I get lots of money, if I become a taitai.. haha... And I won't be so happy if I have to go to school tomorrow and it rains..I don't want to be walking around with a huge brolly...oh well...
Today is my nth stay-at-home day...well, not quite as well.. haha.. just skipped school since Wednesday,.. and I'll be going back tomorrow~ um... I hope..
Been far too lazy.. hehhh...
As I was walking towards my piano lesson venue, I did something I always like to do.. well, not exactly like, but like to challenge myself to do..That is to walk with my eyes closed. Since it's a straight path but I can never go beyond 15 steps.. hahaha... try it guys, quite fun.. haha..
It's been raining for quite sometime.. wonder if it'll flood Singapore... YAY~ which means I can go prepare myself to death and stop studying and stop doing tutorials...hehh....
I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company as long as you don't care
I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
==Garbage, only happy when it rains...==
I'm Always happy when it rains~~
|
Today is my nth stay-at-home day...well, not quite as well.. haha.. just skipped school since Wednesday,.. and I'll be going back tomorrow~ um... I hope..
Been far too lazy.. hehhh...
As I was walking towards my piano lesson venue, I did something I always like to do.. well, not exactly like, but like to challenge myself to do..That is to walk with my eyes closed. Since it's a straight path but I can never go beyond 15 steps.. hahaha... try it guys, quite fun.. haha..
It's been raining for quite sometime.. wonder if it'll flood Singapore... YAY~ which means I can go prepare myself to death and stop studying and stop doing tutorials...hehh....
I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company as long as you don't care
I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
==Garbage, only happy when it rains...==
I'm Always happy when it rains~~
Friday, March 05, 2004
Fall in Love~
Got this message on V-day from Qi:
Without Love, days are
Sadday,
Moanday
Tearsday
Wasteday
Thirstday
Frightday
Shatterday
--So fall in love
Prolly there's not enough space for mroe werds or something, the message should end like:
-- When you finally fall in love, just add everything above and times 2..
Oh well... anyway today Feng told me that Gwyn is seeing another guy... the guy we met at scotts... *I knew it* Just don't understand why they like to deny stuffs like that and keep things from me when it happens.. I mean yes, I will question about what happens to Ian and yes, I will tell her I feel very sad and yes, I will be rather affected and yes, it's not much of my concernt o feel so affected but hey.. You can't blame me for being emotional right? So anyway, Gwyn and Ian had a 'peaceful' *how peaceful can break ups be???* one and so they are no longer together... perhaps they were seeking different things... I am getting a little pissed with Gwyn cos' she likes to say ' I think this is the one" and I know she can't help it.. but I just can't help being pissed... URGH...
OK, So life is not a fairy-tale. You can never fall in love with one and be with him for the rest of your life.. maybe you can but I think the chances of strking TOTO is bigger... excuse me for getting cynical here.. no please don't let me burst your bubble..
Well, so just something I want to get off my chest so that I can sleep better...
Today is a fruitless day, I DID NOT attened lecture, I DID NOT study, I DID NOT clean up my room, I DID NOT practise hard enough on my piano, basically I DID NOT do anything constructive, but I DID catch one of my favourite shows Gilmore girls on Channel 5. It's season 4 already.. and they had to show it at 4pm in the afternoon... what the *&*%%$....
A levels results are out.. Wonder hwo Fadly did.. Didn't ask... can't be bothered I think..If I could relive my life again, would it be better?
Pill count today: 9
Which is why I need to be a taitai, a normal man can't afford my bills... so I am not being silly ok... Just planning my suture carefully
yesterday's trip cost my daddy about $170 *ok, I threw in $52 for my concession*
Anyway my doctor asked me to apply sun block when I go out... wahahahaha... my toes are giggling.. hahaha
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
me, me.....
----My immortal, Evanescence----
Touching, and I wish I could tell him that...
So anyway there's another song I had in mind today which is Sammi Cheng's
Happy or not happy..
Was doing some 'research' for my June Holis trip and was thinking of nice beaches.. so, this song just came out or nowhere.. nice, lazy song... hahaha
|
Without Love, days are
Sadday,
Moanday
Tearsday
Wasteday
Thirstday
Frightday
Shatterday
--So fall in love
Prolly there's not enough space for mroe werds or something, the message should end like:
-- When you finally fall in love, just add everything above and times 2..
Oh well... anyway today Feng told me that Gwyn is seeing another guy... the guy we met at scotts... *I knew it* Just don't understand why they like to deny stuffs like that and keep things from me when it happens.. I mean yes, I will question about what happens to Ian and yes, I will tell her I feel very sad and yes, I will be rather affected and yes, it's not much of my concernt o feel so affected but hey.. You can't blame me for being emotional right? So anyway, Gwyn and Ian had a 'peaceful' *how peaceful can break ups be???* one and so they are no longer together... perhaps they were seeking different things... I am getting a little pissed with Gwyn cos' she likes to say ' I think this is the one" and I know she can't help it.. but I just can't help being pissed... URGH...
OK, So life is not a fairy-tale. You can never fall in love with one and be with him for the rest of your life.. maybe you can but I think the chances of strking TOTO is bigger... excuse me for getting cynical here.. no please don't let me burst your bubble..
Well, so just something I want to get off my chest so that I can sleep better...
Today is a fruitless day, I DID NOT attened lecture, I DID NOT study, I DID NOT clean up my room, I DID NOT practise hard enough on my piano, basically I DID NOT do anything constructive, but I DID catch one of my favourite shows Gilmore girls on Channel 5. It's season 4 already.. and they had to show it at 4pm in the afternoon... what the *&*%%$....
A levels results are out.. Wonder hwo Fadly did.. Didn't ask... can't be bothered I think..If I could relive my life again, would it be better?
Pill count today: 9
Which is why I need to be a taitai, a normal man can't afford my bills... so I am not being silly ok... Just planning my suture carefully
yesterday's trip cost my daddy about $170 *ok, I threw in $52 for my concession*
Anyway my doctor asked me to apply sun block when I go out... wahahahaha... my toes are giggling.. hahaha
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
when you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have 'hold of me
me, me.....
----My immortal, Evanescence----
Touching, and I wish I could tell him that...
So anyway there's another song I had in mind today which is Sammi Cheng's
Happy or not happy..
Was doing some 'research' for my June Holis trip and was thinking of nice beaches.. so, this song just came out or nowhere.. nice, lazy song... hahaha
Go new house
Went to TTSH for my appointment yesterday at 7.30 cos I wanted to attend the 2pm lecture but the doc's not in... and I was damn angry.. with myself.
So I lazed around at Starbucks, sat at the nice couch and enjoy a nice cuppa.. and people watched and read my 2250 notes...
Anyway, aunty called and I went to Toa Payoh to meet them and went to HDB building together.. And I babysat Sarah for like 2 hours at the lobby... She is such a Monkey... hahah... anyway, the Hillview house will be replaced by the Bukit Gombak house..
So after HDB they head back KL while I went back for my appointment. and I wonder if it's the magic of baby or am I just tired that I forgot to tell my doctor about my bleeding gums and extreme fatigue. oh well, anyway he says that the blood report is fine.. so maybe I am over-reacting..
Went to get my medicine and was conned $80+ on health supplements.. hahaha...
So I still have a 6pm lecture but by the time I got my medicine it was already 5.. and I was really tired...*excuses*
At night my dad drove me to new house at Bukit Gombak.. not bad.. not bad.. but VERY small...
REGRET: should've gone back to KL with them for the weekend...URGH....
|
So I lazed around at Starbucks, sat at the nice couch and enjoy a nice cuppa.. and people watched and read my 2250 notes...
Anyway, aunty called and I went to Toa Payoh to meet them and went to HDB building together.. And I babysat Sarah for like 2 hours at the lobby... She is such a Monkey... hahah... anyway, the Hillview house will be replaced by the Bukit Gombak house..
So after HDB they head back KL while I went back for my appointment. and I wonder if it's the magic of baby or am I just tired that I forgot to tell my doctor about my bleeding gums and extreme fatigue. oh well, anyway he says that the blood report is fine.. so maybe I am over-reacting..
Went to get my medicine and was conned $80+ on health supplements.. hahaha...
So I still have a 6pm lecture but by the time I got my medicine it was already 5.. and I was really tired...*excuses*
At night my dad drove me to new house at Bukit Gombak.. not bad.. not bad.. but VERY small...
REGRET: should've gone back to KL with them for the weekend...URGH....
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Death becomes me
For once in my life, I seriously thought I was going to die.. or rather, I want to die..
This was what happened. I left school in the morning around 9, made myself a ham and cheese sandwich.. took 963 and fell asleep on the bus.. All was ok...
Attended my 1st tutorial.. still find, just felling a little nauseous.. so I left for my next tutorial and I decided to pee before going in.. And I started puking.. and perspiring..
Thinking nothing of it, I proceeded to my tutorial, was thinking I would feel better after lunch.. and I sat down.. and the perspiration didn't stop. And I felt damn unconfortable, as if someone is twisting my intestines.. SO I thought I needed to sh*t, but after another 5 minutes, I am still perspiring and still feeling damn uncomfortable.. and I needed to puke again.. So at 11.23, I plucked up the courage to walk out of class..without any explanation cos' I didn't want to puke on anyone...
SO I continued puking in the toilet.. and it's the water and ham and cheese sandwich..
I decided that I should go home.. SO from AS1 I went to the canteen to get me some sour stuffs.. and I felt more like puking when I entered the canteen.. Braving through the 'stench' I got my stuffs and walked in LT8 direction. Called my brother to ask him to pick me up but he did not pick up the phone.. DAMN...
And the only wish I had at that time is not to pass out and row down any stairs.. I was holding my tablet in hand... So I poured the orange peel down my throat.. hopeing to feel better... I was still perspiring like nobody's business. if you are out today, you should've noticed that it's a rather cloudy, cool day and I was perspiring as if I ran 10km..
As I walked out of the arts canteen towards LT8, I could see several cabs along the main road in from of guild house.. so I thought it should be easy getting a cab.. I continued walking down and perspiring.. and puked again...
So finally I reached the bus stop in front of LT 13.. and waited for a cab there.. there was this girl from my PS class and I did not want to sit beside her at the bus stop to let her see the pathetic condition I was in, so I remained standing.. for 2 minutes tehre were no cabs coming down.. even though I saw several going upwards... and I had to sit down..
And drops of perspiration just started forming on my laptop folder.. and it's rapid drops to be exact. and that was then I wish someone could just kill me.. I was too weak to even move.. Was contemplating if I should go YIH, but I decided against it.. I was too weak to climb stairs.. So finally a cab came.. and I dragged myself up to flag and it went off.. ULTRA sad..
I went back to sit.. still not cabs but many feeder bus.. and then the cab that went passed my appeared on the other side of the road. The uncle as like saying he thought I was flaggint he bus behind.. oh well.. I was grateful he turned back..
So I lied down on the cab.. and I sat up and I sat in various positions.. and then along sunset way, I had to puke again.. Luckily the driver responded fast enough of he would've to clean his cab... and I puked and puked and puked..
So I return to the cab and I became so weak that I thought I might die on the cab.. *don't laugh, life is fragile*
Finally I got home... and I puked again at the void deck... and there's no longer anything else left to puke... so I puked bile.. yellow, bitter, smelly bile... I thought I was going to pass out..
I managed to walk home and got my brother to open the door.. and I even managed to change out of my jeans before passing out on my parents bed..
All that happened within one hour.
The next thing I know, it's 4 pm already... and I am no longer feeling miserable..
well, I still didn't know what exactly happened.. but oh well.. thank God...
|
This was what happened. I left school in the morning around 9, made myself a ham and cheese sandwich.. took 963 and fell asleep on the bus.. All was ok...
Attended my 1st tutorial.. still find, just felling a little nauseous.. so I left for my next tutorial and I decided to pee before going in.. And I started puking.. and perspiring..
Thinking nothing of it, I proceeded to my tutorial, was thinking I would feel better after lunch.. and I sat down.. and the perspiration didn't stop. And I felt damn unconfortable, as if someone is twisting my intestines.. SO I thought I needed to sh*t, but after another 5 minutes, I am still perspiring and still feeling damn uncomfortable.. and I needed to puke again.. So at 11.23, I plucked up the courage to walk out of class..without any explanation cos' I didn't want to puke on anyone...
SO I continued puking in the toilet.. and it's the water and ham and cheese sandwich..
I decided that I should go home.. SO from AS1 I went to the canteen to get me some sour stuffs.. and I felt more like puking when I entered the canteen.. Braving through the 'stench' I got my stuffs and walked in LT8 direction. Called my brother to ask him to pick me up but he did not pick up the phone.. DAMN...
And the only wish I had at that time is not to pass out and row down any stairs.. I was holding my tablet in hand... So I poured the orange peel down my throat.. hopeing to feel better... I was still perspiring like nobody's business. if you are out today, you should've noticed that it's a rather cloudy, cool day and I was perspiring as if I ran 10km..
As I walked out of the arts canteen towards LT8, I could see several cabs along the main road in from of guild house.. so I thought it should be easy getting a cab.. I continued walking down and perspiring.. and puked again...
So finally I reached the bus stop in front of LT 13.. and waited for a cab there.. there was this girl from my PS class and I did not want to sit beside her at the bus stop to let her see the pathetic condition I was in, so I remained standing.. for 2 minutes tehre were no cabs coming down.. even though I saw several going upwards... and I had to sit down..
And drops of perspiration just started forming on my laptop folder.. and it's rapid drops to be exact. and that was then I wish someone could just kill me.. I was too weak to even move.. Was contemplating if I should go YIH, but I decided against it.. I was too weak to climb stairs.. So finally a cab came.. and I dragged myself up to flag and it went off.. ULTRA sad..
I went back to sit.. still not cabs but many feeder bus.. and then the cab that went passed my appeared on the other side of the road. The uncle as like saying he thought I was flaggint he bus behind.. oh well.. I was grateful he turned back..
So I lied down on the cab.. and I sat up and I sat in various positions.. and then along sunset way, I had to puke again.. Luckily the driver responded fast enough of he would've to clean his cab... and I puked and puked and puked..
So I return to the cab and I became so weak that I thought I might die on the cab.. *don't laugh, life is fragile*
Finally I got home... and I puked again at the void deck... and there's no longer anything else left to puke... so I puked bile.. yellow, bitter, smelly bile... I thought I was going to pass out..
I managed to walk home and got my brother to open the door.. and I even managed to change out of my jeans before passing out on my parents bed..
All that happened within one hour.
The next thing I know, it's 4 pm already... and I am no longer feeling miserable..
well, I still didn't know what exactly happened.. but oh well.. thank God...
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
If I were a poet...
If I were a poet, would write a sonnet, it would say I love you, your name would be honoured... blah blah blah
and the haunting part is when kermit sings falalalallaa..
so anyway, THANKS bestest..
|
and the haunting part is when kermit sings falalalallaa..
so anyway, THANKS bestest..
| My declaration of Love |
| I need to know how to feel without you.. I need to find myself, to give you the space you need, to move in a different direction from yours.. I want to know how life can go on without you.. I want to embrace joy, indulge in love, to enjoy every drop of sunshine that falls on me.. I will conquer my fear of living in a world without you.. I will live my life as though I had never met you... |
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