A life TOO ordinary..

很有趣的一篇短文。。。很喜欢在不开心的时候看看张小娴的书。。。回想起在好久以前，和几个好友一起沉迷在女主角们的疑惑中，一起讨论那些似乎很重要的爱情观。。。我还记得，我们曾讨论过，如果在爱情和尊严之间得做选择，我们会做怎样的选择?大家都选择了尊严。。。事隔多年，我们都做了同样的选择吗?

Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.-- Ned

越得不到 越觉的重要
给了心却只记的几次拥抱
再听不到 你温柔的心跳
世界越来越小

爱能否电影预告
虽然短暂却尽是高潮
宁愿在爱里燃烧
不想在这里绕

我累了
再也不想对你讨好
等到你察觉到
我对你的重要
一切都迟了
我累了
再无力期待你的好
等待你的回报
再多我也不要

爱冷了 心倦了 我累了 想忘掉 无力再对你讨好
梦醒了 爱睡了 我懒得再为你天天苦恼

越得不到 越觉得重要
给了心却只记得几次拥抱
再听不到 你温柔的心跳
世界越来越小

爱能否像电影预告
虽然短暂却尽是高潮
宁愿在爱里燃烧
不想再跟你耗

Watched Penelope. Niceeee! Catch it while you still can!

Welcome home Donut! I missed you..

Some days are just meant to be quiet..

Some questions are much harder to ask because we already know the answer.

Ned: Everything we do is a choice: oatmeal or cereal, highway or side street, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do

我是你的XX

I went out for lunch with momma today and she took the opportunity (again) to tell me how important it is for everyone to find some you love like to spend the rest of my life with. Like how relieved she is not that the brother is getting hitched end of this August. I was too worn out to remind her (again) that marriage/ companionship/ relationship is not part of the game plan, or at least MY game plan. I don't think my game will last long enough to accomodate milestones like that, or at least, I think it's too short to be adding such complicating stuffs. Thanks momma, but sorry I have to disappoint you.

My game plan is simple. A nice little space for myself and my companion, Pork Chop (whom my godchild/children will inherit in the event the game terminates prematurely). I will have wonderful friends and family who will always be there when I need them. Life will be blissful with no relationship woes. Wouldn't it be nice (if life was Cadbury)? The thought simply puts a smile on my face.

I had a wonderful time last night with my girl friends (it's always wonderful and I am looking forward to the steamboat!). Coins pointed out how scary it was, sitting around talking about adult topics like jobs and relationships. Yeah, it's a little spooky (with her around). Wasn't it yesterday when we congregated at JEC, laughing at the ice-skater? I hate the price we have to pay for growing up.

Thank you babes for being there, for offering that Mexican dream we can't afford, for not judging and still loving me as who I am. Like I said, whatever consequence I face tomorrow is a result of my actions now. I know because I am very clever. In fact, it dawned on me that we are very clever.

我没有想过要和你玩任何游戏, let's keep things simple.

It's always fun to sneak out of office for a nice XXmin coffee break, gossiping and complaining about work. Provided if we don't overdo it. We might get sick of each other's complains very soon.

It's actually Donut's blog title. Though I know it's mean, but I can't help laughing when I read it. Hilarious I tell you, especially when you can imagine her saying it in your face. Thank you my dear Donut for never failing to cheer us up. Thanks for the message you sent me and Coins. 我们都会记得灰色是不想说的。。。

Today is PayDay. PayDay is Happy Day!

I'm getting worried. The last time I landed in a chalet for a couple of days was almost 3 years ago. The signs are coming back. It starts with the mental aspect before hitting me physically. Of course this time round, I am not stressed. Just too many things in my head, too much emotions, too much mood swings.

It frightens me. I haven't been able to focus. Which is really tough especially when I need to complete my 7-page Sonata. I.just.can't.focus. It's embarrassing because one moment I am enjoying the piece, and the next thing I know, I can't remember where I am. And then I have to stumble 10000 times before getting back on track. And this is the 2nd time in 2 weeks that forget who I am supposed to meet. I cannot believe myself. And then I get worried, and then it worsens the whole thing. Bah! I so need to stay away.

So when you see me, tell me I am a nice girl and you love me very, very much for who I am. Tell me you missed me and will forever be there for me. Tell me I have all the bestest friends in the world and I will be a happy girl. Tell me the world will be a better place tomorrow. Tell me I will learn to move on.

Tell me things will be ok, I will figure a way out, just like how I always do.

我只是又让你影响了我的心情

I have a bad habit of going overboard and not know when to stop. I can start with the intention of cooking a nice lil' bowl of noodles for lunch and end up with a pot of noodles that can alst the family till dinner time. My last trip to the supermarket was to get myself some pads (which prolly cost about $6-$7) and I ended up paying over 50bucks for pads, shampoo, junk food, vegetables, instant noodles, can food and the likes. The same goes for buying presents. I end up buying a collection of presents for people because I think they will like everything.I need to stop to protect myself.. and my wallet.

Today I went out to buy a present for another friend of mine with an $X budget. And in the end, because my Maths is so bad, I ended up having to pay $X + $10, simply beause I miscalculated. I so want to slap myself. Anyway I suppose I would have made up for the lack of presents the last few years with it. I hate numbers.











Close friends would know (after my constant nagging) that I did not manage to get my Brown Holly from Topshop because "It's an old model". Right, it's no longer on topshop.com either. But lo and behold! Look what I've found!!!








Ain't it pweeetttyyyyyy? I hope it comes to Singapore soon cos the last time I checked, they only have the white one, which is nice but not as nice as this! Bah! This lust feels so sinful!!!

The best way to end a not-so-fulfilling week of work is to get to chill with friends you love dearly. Despite the fact that I got Japanese curry on my top and despite having spent too much money, I had a great time. So great that I forgot about my blood and my cramp.

I took the risk to have an italian soda and 2 ice cold drinks. I hope I don't have to face the consequences tomorrow. Anyhoo, I had a great, great time. Took my mind off alot of things, most of the time.

I got another top and a dress, I brought home similar things (i.e. a top and a dress) less than 1 week ago. I foresee bringing home more things on Monday. This has got to stop. I am supposed to start saving. Bah!

I dropped my money pouch on my way to the car this morning and as a result, lost S$40+. It's not such a bad thing because the person returned me everything else including my thumbdrive and IC which would have cost me much more. My dad thought it's just some money to ward off some misfortunate that I was about to encounter. OH well. Just a little sad that the person even went to the extent of emptying my coins. I always feel a little empty when there's no coins in my money pouch. Bah!

I think I have just started to bleed. I hate this PMS thing cos' it affects me physically and emotionally for like 10days to 2 weeks before torturing me to death with the fatal cramps. I mean, technically, I only have one week of bliss before PMS sets in and then the bleddy affair. Granted that I do not get PMS for that long every month, but it can be very exhausting to get it every alternate month, no? I hate my womb.

Anyway, I hope I will be well enough to meet the crazy people tomorrow. To eat, drink and be merry. It's Fridayyyyyy!!!

I am looking at the presents I bought. I think sometimes I tend to get a little overboard with things. Need to change, need to change...

In case you guys don't know, Finicky Feline is back! So yup, I was reading and then I found something I so totally can relate to:
It’s funny how someone can piss you off so damn much and how they always tend to rub you the wrong way resulting in voice raising and snappy replies, but you still want them bad.

Tsk tsk.. foolish mistakessss

*: says:
i wan the new iphone too

*: says:
haha

*: says:
dunno sg when then come

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
the difference is you got 4 times more savings so you can afford

*: says:
can ask GX to buy for us too

*: says:
its dam cheap

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
hahahhahaa

alan in japan has been added to the conversation.

*: says:
199 US for the 8GB one

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
huh

*: says:
299US for the 16gb one

*: says:
dam cheap compared to the original one

alan in japan says:
not free, dun ask me buy

*: says:
HAHA

alan in japan says:
hahha

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
hahahahhaa

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
he knows u well leh

alan in japan says:
i want typical big big japanese flip phone

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
can la, we buy for you n exchange

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
we oni wan the new iphone

alan in japan says:
iphone where got nice...

alan in japan says:
looks good only...

*: says:
dun let me see u buying one

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
hahahha

alan in japan says:
heh... confirm no....

*: says:
its ok.. buy for us can liao

*: says:
haha

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
but u can buy for us

*: says:
eliz.. when u asking JL bout the bike thingy

*: says:
hahahah

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
i wan to ask but she say she going off

*: says:
she still online leh

*: says:
hahaa

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
maybe she can sense the question coming

alan in japan says:
what news from singapore?

alan in japan says:
weather still hot?

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
hahaha.. hot like hell

*: says:
ok l;eh

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
cannot sleep without aircon

*: says:
quite cooling recently

*: says:
compared to previously

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
even when I dabian in toilet oso sweat

*: says:
hahaha

*: says:
cus u dabien is like "BAM!!"

alan in japan says:
.... too much detail....

*: says:
go japan become more refine liao

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
ey I dabian very fast one can

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
I bet I can dabian faster than u pee

*: says:
yea i noe.... "BAM"!

alan in japan says:
here getting warmer... cos almost summer

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
got flies or not?

Patrick Starr wants the new iPhone!!! says:
in Auzzie summer got flies everywhere one

*: says:
eee

alan in japan says:
got tiny tiny insects flying around trees

alan in japan says:
maybe not flies

*: says:
there got mosquito?

*: says:
jhahaha

alan in japan says:
mosquitoes not very common..

BAH! As you can see, no chance of getting the new iPhone in the near future. When can I get a new toy??

In other news, lausai has become a habit and I only pray the urge comes only when I am near the toilets.

I had a J.Co donut today. I think it's nice and chewy, though no absolutely fantastic. I think they can improve on the customer service, offer a little more smile. I know they did not open on time, hence the rush, but that's not an excuse not to smile. Service with a smile, no?

I skipped gym today because I am lazy Juliet gave me a lift home.

I was telling Donut about my current fear and I am so glad there is someone there I could talk to and talk to me. *heaves a sigh*. I just hope things will become better soon enough.

Lately strange things have been happening to my digestive system. It's always working and producing output at the wrong time. I figured the only time it release output is when I am on public transport or in public places with no toilets. NABEH. I think I have to cut down on my chillis.

I am hungry now and is contemplating having a piece of cheese... GAH! Self- control. Will powerrrrr!!!!

Blood test tomorrow. Excitingggg

There were days I don't mind being the last to know(but then if that happens, you know I will be pissed).

Either way is not helping.

I'm sorry I do not handle goodbyes well. I thing it runs in the family. It's genetic. It's not my fault. I'm sorry if you think it's unfair. I hate to disappoint you but nothing in this world is fair anyway I guess.

We all have our own little twisted ways of handling issues. I hate to make you feel this way. Please be assured that I don't blame you. I sincerely apologize for how you feel.

You won't know how affected I was by that call.

You know, I am very, extremely happy for you.

I hate to say it again, but I guess there's not better quote than this.

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”
--Snoopy

Now I feel like a immature 5 year old.

I am not drunk.

Not a bad movie at all, and considering it's freeeeee! Go watch it for a good laugh. The villian looked terrible scary though. I think I will be spooked if I watched it as a kid. It's a funny movie nonetheless. And short. I like!

In other news, Yahoo Auctions is still down. I cannot bid for my stuff! Grrrrrrrr

Sometimes, we tend to get a bit too comfortable with each other...

*** says:
so the memory is quite vivid

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
hahahhahaha

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
but u really quite sway lo

*** says:
after that incident, i won't "ren" if i feel some urge

*** says:
just go toilet and try

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
hahahaha

*** says:
if not, take chinese medicine powder

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
actually before Ileft office, i got fart those smelly farts

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
those when u need to dabian u wil fart ones u noe?

*** says:
hahah

*** says:
i know

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
but I din think much about it cos I dabian-ed in themorning

*** says:
i think everyone knows

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
n I usually dabian once a day

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
so I din clear my tummy.. n the toilet was washing

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den like dinner, I eat the the dessert time

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
wah, suddenyl got stomach ache

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den I was thinking if should ren3

*** says:
did you tell your dinner mates that you were lau sai?

*** says:
CANNOT ren

*** says:
if you REN, you will end up like ME

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
coos the restaurant oni got 1 toilet den I quite paiseh..

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den I told them I stomachache

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den they say I shud go since got toilet

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
so I went

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
wah.. lucky I went

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
alot of lau sai lo!!!

*** says:
you know, lau sai is my most common illness

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
the moment I sit down is liekk explosion

*** says:
wah

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den for the rest of the night I ok..

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
so lucky la.. or else I will b uncomfy the whole night

*** says:
were you amazed by the amount of shit your stomach can store?

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
YAH

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
n it the watery type

*** says:
hee hee

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I think is the tom yum ban mian i had for lunch

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
cos I think the ***** woman not very clean n the egg is not cooked thoroughly

*** says:
hey, sometimes if i lau sai, i will flush the toilet when i am still shitting

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
n oso spicy la

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
YAH

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I DID THAT!!!

*** says:
cos i dont want it to be smelly

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
cos I scared when I finish the toilet will stink!!

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
so we actually have same mentality

*** says:
hahahahahaha

*** says:
that was funny

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
even when I not lausai-ing.. like dabian got a short interval

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I oso will flush

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
esp at workplace

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I dun wan people to come in knowing I dabian-ed

*** says:
but when i am lau-sai-ing at home, i will finish the whole business then flush

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
yah.. if I at home I dun care

*** says:
yeah

*** says:
at home, i will even take a good look at the amounth

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
i think our dabian habit quite similar

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
ME TOO!!!!!

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
or the color or quality

*** says:
then wonder "how many kg is that?"

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
wahhahahahhaha

*** says:
i told my father that i wish i can have a toilet bowl that indicates the weight of my shit

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
hahahah

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
shit I dun wonder so much

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
but I wonder about urine

*** says:
let's say, it can measure by the water level that rises?

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
cos I think I pee alot..

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
everytime I pee, I wonder if got 1 cup

*** says:
i also pee alot

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
dun you wonder?

*** says:
hey, maybe you can try at home.

*** says:
take a useless disposable cup

*** says:
then measure

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
ahhhahahaha

*** says:
just like doing urine test

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
maybe..

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
but u noe hor

*** says:
then now you okie or not?

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I do urine test every month

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
den every month I got problem peeing

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
nabeh

*** says:
hahahahahah

*** says:
why?

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
yah ok.. but I think I got to go one mroe time to clear stock

*** says:
peeing is not a problem to me

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
duno leh.. maybe stress at hos[pital

*** says:
i think any moment i can urine

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
if I not at hospital den I can

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
you can ask JL, every time we go out, she got to wait for me to pee

*** says:
for me, after every shitting session, i need to urine once

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
cos she camel, can store water

*** says:
and it cannot be done immediately after shitting

*** says:
must urine at least 10 mins after shitting

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
issit? usually is peeing that ends the dabian session for me

*** says:
i thiink the "wu ta biao" chinese medicine powder is good for lau sa

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
issit?

*** says:
five-pagoda brand

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I think ok la.. think this is not serious

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I hope

*** says:
i must shit every day

*** says:
if not, i'd feel uneasy

*** says:
hey, have you started bleeding?

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
no leh

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
I think I PMS VERY long one

*** says:
menses cramps will bring along lau sai for me

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
liek 1 week plus

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
YAH!!

Patrick Starr has a mini city at shootingellie.minicity.com! *Mindfucked* says:
me oso!!!!!

There's wayee more details before and after this excerpt but I guess not everyone is as interested in our shit and pee and blood as much as we do.

Again.. I am going to bleed.. AGAIN. When can this bleddy affair (like literally) ever end? grRrrRrr

Today had been a busy day answering calls, emails and stuffs which got me pretty frustrated. On top of PMS. And when I arrived at the gym, it was so bleddy crowded that I could not do my usual routine properly. And the whole gym thing got me more frustrated than I already am.
I finally allowed myself a little stress relieve cos' I couldn't take it anymore.

I didn't mean for the conversation to lead that way. I didn't know I will react so strongly to it. I didn't know I can be so reliant. I didn't know it can be so hard. I don't even know this is actually normal.

The thought of things just scare me more and more each day as we or rather, I approach the eventual reality.

I know nothing lasts forever. I just didn't know it expires so soon.